Have you ever wondered why people need relationship counselling? Well, we all have been there. You meet someone who shares your feelings, and you instantly feel the same. You somehow feel that there is a spark in the connection.
You get to know each other some more, realize that there's no one else both of you would rather be with, and you enter into a relationship that brings you years of laughter, affection, fights, kindness, tears, sharing, intimacy, and selfless giving. You both build memories and experiences together and wish to love each other for the rest of your lives.
However, sometimes, the unexpected happens. You start to sense that the feelings of your partner are changing. Even though it happens slowly or abruptly, any such change is noticeable. They start feeling less connected to you, and you see them drifting apart. They lose touch with the love you once shared, and everything finally becomes a distant memory.
Or perhaps you chose to end everything simply because it was no longer working. You cut off ties and went your separate ways. You are back to being two individuals with a past, as beautiful and enriching as your relationship was.
Finding sanity after a breakup, divorce, or any kind of separation—
It is not easy to heal the pain that broken relationships give. It can be extremely difficult to let go of the past and move on to another relationship in life. There are often too many memories of times when you shared strong bonds. So, you can't expect to be completely devoted to your present in a matter of seconds. It takes time. But it is important to be able to see the future and not back because there is hope. Counselling can help you get over your past and create a new, positive future.
Here's how a relationship counsellor might help you with your problem—
- The counsellor will help you get the most out of what has happened—
Unpacking what happened in the relationship that caused its end is an important part of healing. This can be more of an emotional process than a cognitive one. However, it is important to identify your strengths and weaknesses in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Even though it can be painful, this kind of personal growth often leads to the greatest life lessons.
- You can seek out a counsellor to help you grieve fully—
Talking to a counsellor will help you to understand that it is possible to let go of your attachment to someone from the past. It is important to feel sadness and grief as part of the healing process. This helps you move on and get closure. A counsellor who is experienced will be able to help you identify any obstacles that might be hindering your grieving process. Even if you have lost your parents, it's important to be able to grieve fully. Only those who fail to cry or grieve get into a state of shock. And this state is more dangerous than you can imagine.
- Your counsellor will help you look forward—
While it's important to grieve the loss fully, it's equally important to begin to think about your future. You can do both with a good counsellor. True, a lot of healing comes through finding someone new, but healing the past hurts and forming a new romantic partnership is more difficult than it appears to be. This requires a commitment of time and emotions you might not be ready for. It's ok if you can't think of any other relationship just right away. You will still be able to benefit from investing in your other relationships, such as your siblings and children, family members, friends, or any member of your support network. You'll find how little you need someone from the past if you fill your day with positive experiences with supportive people from your present.
- A counsellor can help you get started with your healing journey—
You can't move forward if you keep replaying past memories. Accepting your loss, feeling your loss, and looking forward to the future are all equally important. You can begin to heal and let go of the past by learning to accept new possibilities, independence, and learning to be in the present.
Separation can be extremely painful. The pain is so intense that some people even go to the extent of killing themselves. And that is why it's extremely important to seek help if it's been long and you haven't been able to cope with your loss. Although you feel depressed and you feel tempted to see a doctor, sometimes medications might not be needed to overcome this problem. A couple of counselling sessions do the job. But then, for the right kind of counselling, it's important to approach a good counsellor or wellness centre. Don't worry; whether a particular type of counselling will work on you or not is something you will get to know at the outset itself. Also, it's important for you to remember that relationship counselling will only work when you allow it to. So, get counselled with an open mind.
