Drifting away from each other over time is a fairly common phenomenon that leads to divorces worldwide. Attorneys in Knoxville TN will help you get all the legal assistance you need. While the whole process can be mentally straining for you, it can be even more difficult if you have kids in the mix.
Talking to your kids about a divorce can be painful, although the damage can be avoided. Imagine the excruciating suffering and embarrassment they would face if they heard it from someone else like a friend or a neighbor. Making them understand the circumstances and helping them cope with the separation can have adverse effects on their minds. This is why hiring a child support lawyer would be your best bet in this scenario. In addition, choosing the right attorney for your case is extremely important.
If you are going through a divorce and are unable to let your kids know, this article will help you with some techniques to handle kids during a divorce.
Telling your kids about a divorce
Plan before you approach
No matter how hurt or angry you might be at your spouse, both of you need to talk before approaching your children. If it still feels difficult, opting for a mediator or a professional might help. Kids are impressionable and can get easily hurt by your actions. Hence, plan this conversation during some family time, for example, a weekend. Although, avoid special occasions like holidays or birthdays. Keep your composure and refrain from getting too emotional.
Have the conversation
The best family law attorney often suggests you approach your children together. While it may be even hard to face your spouse at this point, seeing you together might help them think that you are still dedicated, parents. Moreover, it is important to convey the message together. If you have kids from different age groups, make sure to tell them the basic and important information about the separation. You can decide to get further into the details with the older ones in a different and discreet conversation.
Never blame each other
In most divorces, partners blame each other. However, the blaming narrative is not healthy for your children. They love their parents and it will be devastating for them to choose a side. In addition, the truth is usually secondary, and assuring your children should always come first. No matter how hard or tempting it gets, never approach your children with the blaming narrative.
Tell them the reason
While blaming each other is not an option, you have to involve your kids in the conversation. Most of the time, parents refrain from sharing any details and they feel confused and neglected, thus pinning the blame on themselves. This can harm your child’s mental health.
Although you should avoid sharing personal information, it is better to explain them with a general reason behind the separation.
Prepare them for the changes
Divorce brings tremendous changes to a family’s foundation. Honestly, you cannot expect your children to understand these complicated issues. However, a child custody lawyer would usually recommend you to have a conversation about the changes around the house, especially when the custody of the child is involved.
Moreover, you and your partner need to discuss sharing time with the kids. If you have come up with a solution, make sure to let your kids know. Moreover, you should also make sure to ask them how they are feeling about it and if they would like any changes in the schedule. It is paramount to take your child’s wishes into account when it comes to co-parenting after a divorce.
Conclusion
Going through a divorce is a difficult time for you and your spouse. Whatever might be the reason, understanding the circumstances and handling it is very crucial. However, you should be very sensitive while taking care of the children. They will be very affected by the separation. Both of you should understand that you will still be parents and providing them assurance should be your topmost priority. You should also discuss the parental custody options and make sure to convey the information to your kids carefully.
