You are in MESS right now. Easy.
I know you are looking for a shoulder to vent out the wrath you are undergoing. I know you are depressed to an extent of giving up on life. Nothing seems to be aligning. Universe isn't conspiring to put all odds in your favour. But, don't you worry !
You aren't a disappointment or a sucker as people assess or calling you. Your patience is under examination. But, don't you lose on your morals. The days are dim, depressing and sucking every moment of your peace. It feels like battling alone with hundred monsters at a time. Exhausting. Dejecting. Dilapidating. People are calling you names. Dumb, useless, shame, Idiot, stupid. You are ramshackled into irreparable pieces. But, don't succumb or accept the defeat.
Your organisation rated you the lowest rank every year consistently and stars aren't shining on your shoulders. There aren't trophys on your workstation. Which ever phase you are in, the condition is deploring. There isn't enough money in your bank account. Y axis of your career graph is constant or disproportionately making moves at low pace. Right now, you cannot afford an international trip. Can't even think of Steve madden shoes or Marks and Spencers sleep wear. You are failing terribly to find beauty in small joys of life. Still, hold on.
People around you can see you but no one is going to pull you out of this dirty pit. They instead laugh or bully. The world doesn't seem to understand your language. Unfathomable. There is a transparent wall between you and the entire ecosystem. You are crying alone in darkness. You are torn ruthlessly. Yet, don't fall back that deep that you can't bounce. Don't go lunatic rather poise with grace. The energy you are spending on shedding tears is going to convert into your strength. Law of conversation of energy works here too. Gather the strength as much as you can. For each fall, bounce back with double fierce.
Bad luck is obscuring the bright future that is ahead. Similar to a solar eclipse. It's a temporary period like the moon's phases. You are wondering whether you fall in the category of world's below average intellects or lowest IQ humans. Extremely brilliant is anyways out of sight. At the same time you are much better than more than half of your peers. You are striving for your identity and the luxuries you deserve. Don't let anxiety rule you. You shall be bestowed with an identity soon. It might take months or years. It took 27 years for Nelson Mandela, 1000 failure experiments for Einstein, 12 rejections for JK Rowling, few bullets for Malala.
Wait for that one day when light will be shed on you. All of sudden you will see camera's focusing on you. You will find a write up about you in the newspapers. At the least a few words on the left bottom corner on the last page of a newspaper. A part of the world will turn their heads. Okay, let's be practical. At least few hundreds will be inspired by you. Google will surprise you with a Wikipedia page on your name. People will buy tickets to hear your success story. That day.. that day address the crowd and cheer them with your story. On that day, tell about your hunger stints, messy days, failures, fears, flunk tales. Tell them that you took breaks occasionally to deal with the phases but did not break off from the world.
On that glorious day, you will shed tears of joy. You will find purpose of your life. You will grace the podiums. People who mocked at you will greet you with immense respect and look at you in awe. Your signature will hold great value. Your hug will become prestigious. Each act of yours will entail a few smiles. You will fly with your own wings to islands, planets and everywhere you wish to. Stars will envy you. Till then, search insanely, hopelessly, ravenously for your love, passion and just live without giving up. Keep calm and go on. A lovely life will follow inadvertently.
Awaiting you !!
With love,
Future you
