‘What am I doing here? I didn’t even have a penny. Just out of sheer luck, I found some pounds in my frock’s pocket. Now I am sitting in Starbucks, sipping on some delicious espresso and writing in this small journal that I bought from a roadside stationary shop. I felt like I wanted to talk to someone. No one would believe, if I say that I have time travelled by hypnosis. Hence, I am writing. Well, well, what should I do now? I have time travelled. That fucking song has made me travel all the way back to where it had actually started. Okay, okay, it’s not a FUCKING song. It’s really a mindblowing number that has affected me so much. It has deranged my mind and made me travel to this day where it should originate. Now I must do my duty. I should visit Kevin Roberts in his studio, pose as a fan and give him the scratch tune of this wonderrrrful number. That’s it. That would start the chain of events again. I can probably go back to my present and live at peace. Wait! Where would be my past-self now? She might be safely tucked in her bed or she might be hanging out with Tiffany. God knows.
Now, now, what if I don’t visit Kevin Roberts? What if I just hypnotize myself and go back to the present without doing anything? What will happen then? ‘There’s nothing left to do…’ will never be born. And I would surely be in control. I’ll never be affected by musicomania (is that even a disease? or did Harry just make it up?) Speaking of Harry, where will he be now at the present? Thank God, it’s not 20th. It’s just a day before. Imagine that I vanish off on 20th and Harry waits for me all night long in Bistrosa. That would be a disaster. A doomed relationship before it had properly begun. Well, that sounds awful.
Okay, I’ll come back to the topic now. What if I prevent this from happening? Wait! I can’t do that. Oh my God! I am panicking now. I’ll never be able to listen to the world’s greatest composition. That song has actually brought my life in order (though it played with my mind). I SHOULD listen to it. By the way, it was because of that song that I travelled back. If this doesn’t happen, then I would be caught in a paradox. What if my self-hypnosis is not successful and I am not able to go back? What if I am caught here forever, doing nothing?
No! I am going to do this. I am visiting Kevin Roberts. And I am making him compose the world’s greatest composition. I am his inspiration. And I will stay like that. There’s nothing stopping me from doing this. I am going now. Tada!’
She closed the journal, tore it into pieces, and trashed it. She then finished her coffee, paid for it, and moved out. She felt elated by the thought that she was the reason behind the world’s obsession with ‘There’s nothing left to do…’.
*****
“Yeah, come in.” Kevin bellowed in a singsong tone.
Emma tiptoed inside the studio, waving at him like a long-lost friend. He just stared at her and asked, “Do I know you?”
“No. You don’t know me, but you have to.”
“Interesting. Who are you?” He signalled her to be seated. She muttered thanks and took her seat.
“You can call me a fan. I listen to your songs on SoundBase regularly. And I am kinda addicted to them.”
“That’s not unusual. Almost every fan says that. But no one has visited my studio ever. What makes you visit me? And how did you find my studio?”
“I just asked around. Lied a bit. Got to know the address. You know, I am here on a purpose.”
“Purpose? What’s that?”
“What if I give you a scratch tune for a song that you can compose in the future?”
Kevin stared at her, as if she had announced that he’d be composing for a movie soon.
“Compose in the future? I am not a future songs man. I live and compose in the present. I make songs that appeal to youngsters of today.”
“I know that pretty well. But, trust me; you have to listen to this tune.”
“Why should I? What if I refuse?”
‘Oh my God! What if he really refuses? No, that can’t be possible. The song has released in the future. So, he would surely listen to it.’
“You cannot refuse. You’ll regret.”
“What makes you so stubborn? You just walk in and tell me that you have a scratch tune for me. I don’t even know you. So, it’s my decision to listen or not.”
“I told you to trust me, Kevin. Everything happens for a reason. Why don’t you give it a listen?”
Kevin relaxed his shoulders and replied, “Okay, what is going to happen in listening to a petty tune? I am game for it.”
“It’s not a petty tune, Kevin.” Emma stressed on ‘not’, which made Kevin look up immediately.
“Then, what is it?”
“It will change your life.”
“Really? Go ahead. Play it on the keyboard.” He said, nonchalantly.
And that’s how Emma played the scratch tune of ‘There’s nothing left to do…’. As she played on, Kevin became mesmerized with its futuristic tune. He bobbed his head to the gentle melody. He also had this nagging feeling that he had already composed something like this.
“Wait! That’s really really astounding. I would have never created something like that. But I have this strange feeling that I had already composed this tune in my childhood. Yeah, this – this same tune. It has always stayed somewhere in my mind. I would always try to remember it, but in vain.”
“Wow! Then, this tune has a connection to your life. If you had created it in your childhood, then it is yours. It’s not mine. I am just a wandering soul who has brought that back to you. Maybe you’d have yearned to bring the tune to remembrance and compose it. That’s why God yielded to your heart’s deepest wish.” Emma was rather surprised by this turn. She had thought that what was happening had created a bootstrap paradox, with the tune having no point of origin. But the fact that Kevin had already created something similar in his childhood cleared things up.
“You have thrown light on something that was long asleep. Thank you so much. How did you get to know this tune?”
“Err – it just popped in my mind.” She looked down, so that he wouldn’t discover that she was lying.
“Then we might have a connection.” Kevin flashed a wide smile at her.
“Maybe. This tune will change your life, Kevin.”
“I can sense that.”
“When will you compose this as a full-fledged song?”
“I don’t know. It has a futuristic tune. Maybe sometime in the future, like you said. Right now I would play this again and record it in my keyboard, so that I don’t forget it.”
Emma suddenly felt dizzy and the same strange sensation was overcoming her mind. Maybe she was waking up from her hypnosis. She realized that it was time for her to go back to the present.
“Uh, Kevin, I have to leave now. I am sorry that our meeting is so abrupt. Will meet you sometime later.”
With those words, she stood up in a flash and dashed out, before he could even wave her a goodbye. She ran towards an empty alley and silently thanked God that there weren’t people around to witness her vanishing off. She shut her eyes, clutched Shanio tightly and imagined listening to ‘There’s nothing left to do…’.
And she was gently drifted back to 2001. The travel back to the present was rather smooth.
*****
“I don’t think so I’d ever move on from this,” declared Emma. She sniffed her nose in her handkerchief. Tears continued streaming down her eyes.
“Emma, it’s high time you put that in the backburner. It’s over. Long gone. You cannot keep mulling over it. It’s been ten years.” Harry placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, as he said that.
“I am sorry, Harry, but it keeps coming back to me. I have been having these occasional breakdowns for years. You know that. “
“You are pregnant, Emma. Remember that. Your baby needs happiness. Don’t stress yourself.”
“Oh, how much I love you, Harry. I am so grateful that I married you.”
“I am blessed to have married you, too. And I don’t want my angel to keep worrying about this. So what if Kevin has taken all the appreciation for his song? You just gave him a scratch tune, when you were eighteen. 1996, dammit! Ten fucking years have gone by. You did not compose the entire song. It was your fault that you abruptly left his studio and returned to your normal life. Why didn’t you just go and meet him again? Why didn’t you claim that it was you, when you watched the interview? Also, he has tweaked the tune a lot. You cannot expect appreciation to pour on you miraculously. Maybe you’ll find appreciation and praise for some other thing in the future. Forget about this.”
“I can accept your advice, Harry. But, you know, I went to Kevin’s studio in 2001, a few weeks after the interview. I claimed to the guards that I was that mystery girl in teal blue frock who had given him the scratch tune. But they chased me out, telling that thousands of girls had claimed to be that mystery girl. I even showed them Shanio. And all they said was that the other girls had also showed them Shanio. How depressing it is! How much people crave for false praise! And here I am, the true mystery girl, suffering to receive her share of appreciation. That’s what makes me sad.”
“Yeah, that’s quite sorrowful, Emma. But you can’t do anything about it. Not after all these years. How many beautiful things have happened in your life! You started yet another clinic of yours, with trained hypnotherapists taking care of it. You got married. You are pregnant now. Aren’t these enough for you?”
“Not enough, Harry. My ambition is to become a playback singer. I thought that I could get into that industry with Kevin’s recommendation. And that’s why I visited his studio yet again. But it seems that God doesn’t want me to achieve my dream. I didn’t even get a chance to sing chorus. How sorrowful this is! I know I shouldn’t stress myself over this. But-“
“Emma, that’s enough. I know about your dreams. And I am sure that you’d achieve them. There’s an entire life ahead of you. This is not the end. Trust me, you’ll become what you wanted to become. That’s for sure.”
“Thank you, Harry. But the question is – when? Will I become a singer when I am sixty? Is that what you call as achieving a dream?”
“This is ridiculous, Emma! First of all, you shouldn’t be fussing over this. And, you shouldn’t pose such hypothetical questions at me.”
“Okay, okay, I am sorry. I agree with you. There’s so much of life left. I can achieve my dream at anytime. I am convinced. Okay?”
“Okay.” Harry let out a muffled laugh and helped Emma stand up from the cane chair. He was unaware of the fact that Emma had given Kevin the scratch tune through time travel. She had merely said him that she was the one who visited Kevin’s studio in 1996 and gave him the tune.
Now, Emma smiled at her lovely husband and stood up from the chair. The baby was due in two months and they were more than elated.
*****
“Tessa, where’s your mom?” yelled Harry from the drawing room.
“Up in her room. I knocked, but she didn’t respond, daddy.” Tessa, 6 years old, replied in her fruity voice.
‘I think she’s drinking again,’ thought Harry. He sneaked out of his room and quietly tiptoed upstairs.
“Emma, please open the door.” He beckoned rather softly.
Silence.
“Emma, why are you doing this to yourself? Open the door. Please.” He raised his voice a few notches higher.
Silence.
“Emma! Are you going to open the door or not?” He almost yelled.
At last, Emma opened the door and stared straight at her husband. Her dark circles were prominent and her hair was dishevelled. Smudged mascara decorated her cheeks and her eyes were quite droopy. Overall, she looked like an asylum runaway.
“What is this, Emma? I think you need to start rehab. Why don’t you come out? Tessa needs you.”
“I don’t know what’s happening to me, Harry. But I find solace in alcohol. I drink to find happiness. I drink, so that I can never feel low for my charred wishes and burnt dreams.” She replied in a hoarse tone. Her throat was going bad, apparently.
“Your dreams are not lost, Emma. But you are losing your voice due to her addiction. Your voice is the only thing that can save you. You have to start singing again, Emma. Please don’t consider yourself as a failed singer. You are what you think you are. Get out of this abyss. There’s life around you. Breathe in. Talk to your daughter. She misses you terribly. You can gain nothing by locking yourself up.”
Tears rolled down from Emma’s eyes. She picked up a handkerchief and wiped them away. She then opened the door wide and stepped out. Harry engulfed her in a tight embrace.
“I am sorry, Harry. I am spoiling myself as well as spoiling people around me. People who love and care for me. I promise you I’ll start rehab from tomorrow. I have realized. I am sorry.”
“That’s okay, Emma. Bad times come and go. We’ll look forward for good times.”
“Mommy, daddy, let me join you!” Tessa came running upstairs. She hugged them both at their thighs. Emma bent down and scooped her up.
“Oh, Harry! This feels so good. Thank you for bringing me back.”
To be continued….
Tell me your feedback in the comments, friends. 
Loads of love,
Kavya Janani.U
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