The coronavirus lockdown has impacted many marriages, with many even requiring the services of a matrimonial private investigator.
Fortunately, in the past few weeks, we’re also seeing online ‘good news’ stories about couples who’ve got engaged during lockdown. With unlimited time indoors – and no company besides each other – these pairs have bonded and their relationships blossomed. “Lockdown is a stressful situation,” one groom-to-be told the BBC, “and it’s brought us closer together.”
But for many couples across the globe, this isn’t the reality. Record numbers of divorce cases have been filed since the start of the pandemic – and if your marriage is buckling beneath the pressures of lockdown, you’re definitely not alone. A registration office in the Chinese city of Xi’an was receiving more than 14 divorce appointments a day in March, while celebrities from Mary-Kate Olsen to Shane Lynch have also recently split from their spouses.
So, how can you make sure that your marriage survives COVID-19?
-
Set Ground Rules
Because coronavirus escalated so quickly, many of us had no chance to sit down with our spouse to work out how we’d divide workspace, childcare, and chores during lockdown. But not doing so can quickly cause resentment.
If you haven’t already, set aside an evening to talk about the changes to your routines and work out a way to accommodate your needs equally. From which of you will do the weekly shop, to who gets to work at the best desk, lay out ground rules to help you build a routine. Then check in with each other regularly to make sure you’re both still happy.
-
Treat Each Other As Colleagues
Not strictly, of course (you can spare the awkward water-cooler conversations). But if you’re both working remotely, it’s vital to respect each other’s schedules as you navigate the pitfalls of turning your home into a shared office.
This will mean different things for different couples. Perhaps it’s deciding on work areas that are ‘no-go zones’ for your partner until the end of your working shift. Or perhaps it’s structuring your time around shared lunch breaks, to ensure you have an hour of down-time together every day.
Most importantly, you should always resist the urge to compare whose job is more important – no matter how irritable you’re feeling.
-
Be Forgiving
Coronavirus is one of the most extraordinary things that most of us will ever experience. Although social distancing measures aren’t going anywhere soon, the lockdown won’t last forever – and once it’s over, the strain on your relationship might lift.
Lots of us are stressed – about our loved ones, our health, our jobs – and it’s inevitable that this will raise tensions at home, where there’s nowhere to hide our emotions from the people with whom we spend all day, every day.
Your partner might seem unbearable now, but consider this: once life has returned to normal, do you think you’ll be able to look back at these months and laugh? If the answer is no, the chances are that lockdown isn’t the real problem. But if the answer is yes, it’s worth weathering the storm together for the certainty of better days ahead.
