Children can be incredibly demanding, and not giving in to their every wish or request can be a real challenge. Many parents, and understandably so, often give in simply to get some peace and quiet or avoid conflict, while others find it much easier to say ‘no’, no matter how loudly their children protest.
Being able to say ‘no’ to your children is a significant responsibility, and while there are many reasons for doing so, some of the most common can be found below, along with alternative ways to simply saying ‘no’:
To prevent harm
It’s hard for some children, especially younger ones, to anticipate and understand potentially bad outcomes, and it’s your job as a parent, to help guide them and encourage them to make sensible, safe choices.
Offer your children a safer alternative to their desired activity or product.
To empower them
Actually, more than empowering your children, saying no when they ask for your help with something they should be doing themselves (and are capable of doing themselves), helps them to become competent and more responsible.
If necessary, offer them training or support, but encourage them to take more responsibility.
To differentiate between ‘want’ and ‘need’
There may be a million things your child wants, and they may even try to convince you that they need them, but differentiating between the two is a simple task for parents, and can teach your children not only to deal with disappointment but to understand that they can’t have everything they want.
Acknowledge your child’s wish for something (you can even agree with them that it’s desirable) while helping them to understand that they can’t have everything, especially if they don’t need it.
Because your plans have unexpectedly changed
You may well have had every intention of taking your children to the park that afternoon, but life got in the way. Adults have a lot more responsibilities than children, and saying no to something because your plans have unexpectedly and unavoidably changed, helps teach them this and encourages them to be more patient, flexible and understanding.
Make a new schedule for the planned activity to take place, to help your child cope with the delay and not be too disappointed.
Because someone else’s needs are currently more important
Nobody can blame children for being self-centered, especially when they’re younger, but it’s important that they learn about the needs of others, and how they may be more important than theirs, even if only temporarily.
Help your child develop compassion and empathy for others by explaining to them why something can’t take place because of the needs of someone else.
Make no mistake, your children will never thank you for denying them their wishes, but as research has consistently shown, it’s often the most beneficial thing you can do for them. Provided you don’t always say ‘no’, and when you do, you offer a reasoned explanation as to your response (and if appropriate, an alternative), you could help teach your child how to be a more patient, understanding, loving, and compassionate little person.
At Full Circle Hypnotherapy, we help mums who are at their wits end because their children refuse to listen to them and are constantly having melt downs. Often mums are also filled with feelings of failure, guilt and shame. Our hypnotherapists in Manchester have two decades worth of experience in working with parents and guiding with parenting plan.
If you are looking for a parenting guide, visit https://www.fullcirclehypnotherapy.co.uk
