Jai ho! Swami Baba! We are a nation of baba log, Babaism, Sanju Baba, Baba Asaram, Baba Ramdev and teen naam wale Baba Ram Rahim Singh or Sathya (vachchan) Baba Sai ke naam Pe. Quite a philmy Baba ki kahani! Our Ram Rahim Singh Baba must have watched Amar Akbar Anthony 100 times and borrowed inspiration from Manmohan Desai to get his name. You see Sir! No Naamkaran bas muft ka kharcha for me heard that he got some award for acting. Nautanki Saala!
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Our Babas are going political nowadays and hobnobbing with the power tonis is so happening in today’s time. Arre bhai! After all, it’s a matter of Khursi pe charcha and followers. What’s the point of accumulating degrees like Vada Pav when I can don an orange robe, make prophecies and keep a day every week for people to worship and fast in my name! I could be doling gyaan to the political class and the janta. My Jhandu life would be set! The victims, Jaanta Janardhan, ever ready to bite the bait. Who else?! I shall seal their fate and play havoc with their mind, handing them a chit of paper to chant hymn, pray and obey to me. Kaash mein Baba hota toh kya hota! Baba ke khoj mein.
Baba ka naam lo, ladoo lapetlo and sprinkling rose-water on the devotees. See! I will become malamaal and am strongly contemplating a career change to become Vishal Baba. The fault lies in my stars. My future devotees, now pour haldi milk on a peepal tree sprouting in the backyard and I promise maal wala cash. I promise that no illness will ever afflict you. Where are my followers? Baba is looking for you. Seek my blessings, you NRI return and I promise to stack your gold biscuits and black money inside my vault that knows no demonetization. It’s my potion of magic.
I am a seedhe saadha baba. Come and take my darshan for I promise to make your heart Swach Bharat. The new self-claimed God that I pretend to be, promise to wipe off evil from this world and send it to Videsh. Baba and babes make for a lethal combination of doing Pravachan Saath saath to elevate on the spiritual path of unbridled sensuality, re-writing holy scripts and resisting temptations. Ram! Ram! Ram! How dare you point fingers on Babas, dropped straight from the sky by the Gods? Ain’t you ashamed to make rape allegations against the yugpurush of modern times? You sinner, the world will come to an end for calling Babas killers and rapists! Curse on you humans! You polluted minds and products of Phoren influence that you dare send our babas to jail and praying that their tribe should be banned. Babas are Gods! Babas are so pure that milk will lose its color soon to pink and blue. Now, stop watching Avatar and those fake Neelkanth planning to steal the thunder from our original blue-eyed Gods.
Ram Rahim Baba badnaam hui dahling tere liye! Poor and bad mouthed, he took it upon himself to save the world and see the sacrifice of this Dharam Adhikari, the balidan that he made to save humanity, oops his ass. Why not? After all, he is worshipped by lakhs and crores. He is the wronged one! He is our Swach Bharat mascot. Our revered sarkar and opposition bow to him. You need more proof? How dare you! He has united Bharat against the forces of evil. Congress ya BJP, Baba Rahim is the flavor for all seasons. Ram, Rahim, Singh, tere kitne naam.
Hello! Bhakts of castrated Baba! Rampage, breaking everything and burning the city gives you a mental ejaculation, like spineless asses. Planning to bring down India! Now, who should go to Pakistan? Our Baba would make the perfect cut to play Devdas with natak giri of teary ejaculating process to heal asking for maafi from court.
Aur kitna natak giri. First, in the name of God accumulating money, sexual assault, rape and murder Bhagwan ke naam pe and second, testing his testicles endurance jab tak our janta would wear blinkers, Babaism will not be a spent force.
Prem se bolo, Janta ki Awaaz! We are not playing Mangal Pandey-The Rising, country folks. Remove the blind fold. It’s the day for Babaism to be relegated to the distant past like Pehredar Piya ka. Worship the only saint, Old Monk. Raise a toast for the mighty heart and spirit. Follow your heart and not baba black sheep. No chance for aspiring Babas like me!
Politically Uncorrect and Controversially Yours
With Love
V
