As humans we are bound to love. There is no question about it. But bringing back a lover you claim to have lost is probably not the most ideal thing to do. There’s a saying in the Bengali language, kazna theke bazna beshi. You may be able to start a conversation but don’t expect it to go anywhere.
Firstly, examine why your lover was lost in the first place. This will be the ultimate reason as to whether or not it will be best to bring them back. Was there any cheating or infidelity from the other side? If that is the case what is the guarantee he/she will not do it again? While I don’t agree with the statement “once a cheater, always a cheater” you should be intelligent enough to not trust a cheater more than the average person. Cheaters are bound to lie and make up false information just to cover their tracks. And remember that if they cheated once they are more likely to cheat again. Why? Because they have already figured out what to do so you won’t find out they’re cheating again. No matter how many times they say I love you.
Now let’s examine it from another viewpoint. Say you were the one who cheated. Then what? The same you would feel pain the day you found out your partner cheated, imagine what your partner would feel the day they found out you cheated. Assuming that you’ve had a loving relationship before that, imagine the emotional turmoil they must be going through. You may very well be labeled as a cheater FOR LIFE by the other person. On what basis would you try to bring them back? How would you get them to trust you again? You can’t expect it to happen overnight. It can take years. And also, what was the exact reason that led you to cheating? How do you make sure the same situation were not to arise again that would lead to you to cheat again? I dont condone any reason to cheat. Was the person you were in a relationship not “giving you enough”. Then maybe that person just isn’t the one for you.
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Of course there are more reasons than just cheating as to why lovers drift away. For example, I remember there was a cute couple at my high school. Everyone called them soulmates as they walked down the halls hand in hand. They were dating since the 8th grade. By the end of high school they had been dating for a total of 5 years. How wonderful would it have been for them to spend the rest of their lives together as high school sweethearts! Well lone and behold they couldn’t make it last. College began and they drifted apart. Both of them at different locations. College offers new experiences and new ideas. Perhaps it was then when they realized they weren’t meant to be. They are both in happy relationships now. Many times we want to be with someone but there is an obstacle in the way. In college I had to reject many lovers for the simple reasons of location or that our career aspirations just didn’t match up. Perhaps if they were closer and we could both work on our professional goals together then maybe we would be in a loving relationship. But sometimes things end for a reason.
However I understand feelings don’t go away. The pain from losing a lover takes time to heal and during that time you may feel the person you lost is only person you want. It hurts to go on social media and see them enjoying life with someone else. Or just enjoying life without you. Maybe you both used to enjoy sour cream and onion potato chips together while watching Netflix. Next time you go to the store and see those chips you may feel sad. It may hurt to start getting used to watching TV alone. You may be avoiding watching what was his/her favorite show. Even seeing something like a man or woman dressed how your lover used to dress can hurt you emotionally. Trust me I’ve been there and done yet.
However, I do believe that miracles happen sometimes. If you were dating someone and had to end the relationship but then you really wanted to get back together with that person (knowing they aren’t already with someone else!) is it still possible? Anything is possible. Don’t try to immediately get back together otherwise you will seem desperate. But give it some time and heal yourself first. Then take a seat and simply write a text message. I assume they wouldn’t answer a phone call. Write it simply without seeming overly desperate. Do not show weakness. Just write that you want another change at love. It’s a 50–50 shot. The worst the person can tell you is no and in that case be happy that you weren’t about to get into a relationship with no love from the other end. Chances are your conversation could go be up being a kazna theke bazna beshi but honestly you never really know what could happen.
As cliche as it sounds, there ARE plenty of fish in the sea. Before I met my husband there were countless guys I thought were the one for me. Clearly they weren’t. As humans we naturally want to love and feel loved. I beleive that one day you will get it.
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