This could well be the most important topic I ever put on this site. You're getting advice from everywhere. You're getting advice from your friends, from your parents, from your mom and your dad and your brother and coaches on here about what to do, and a lot of it's contradicting each other. Everyone seems like an expert. So how do you know good advice, and how do you know bad advice? I believe my truest job as a coach is not to tell you the answers, but it gives you the tools to formulate your answers, and that's exactly.
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Five things, five checkboxes that you have to look for to know if the dating advice you're listening to is good. If even one of those checkboxes is out, it is bad advice. So I'm going to tell you what they are next.
Good dating advice has to check five boxes. If it does not check every single one of those five boxes, it is bad advice.
The first one is probably going to surprise you. The dating advice that you receive has to be based on love and respect for men. I was hoping you could think about coaches for men who teach men how to manipulate women, who teach men tricks to get them into bed, who teach men tricks to get them to like you, games to play with you to get your attention. How do you feel about men who use those games, and how do you feel about coaches who teach men to use those games? Now, if you're like me, you want someone.
Number two, this one's incredibly important. It is based on being the best you. In other words, the advice you're receiving has to come from a place of what you would do or how you would act if you were at your maximum level of self-esteem. So ask yourself all the time, is this something I would do if I felt great about myself, within myself, for myself? Are these actions the highest self-esteem I would take? I have every client write out a description, almost a mission statement, of what their highest self would do in a situation and how the highest self would act across various situations.
Number three, this is the most important point. Guys, if there's one box, every piece of good dating advice must go through, it's this, bad dating advice will advise you how to give men negative emotions directly, how to make them jealous, how to make them feel confused or scared even how to make him miss you.
Number four, good dating advice has to be understanding yet honest. So you want someone who understands where you're coming from and can empathize with your situation. They advise you based on what's best for you rather than what would be best for them in your situation.
And number five, good dating advice should be helpful and empowering. The way you walk away from dating conversations and dating advice matters. I don't care how good the advice is. If you're walking away feeling like shit and like it's not helpful, you're never going to get anything from that advice. Even if it is helpful and it's, and you're walking away feeling crappy about it, it's not going to be good advice cause you're not going to want to take action on it.
Number one, it has to come from a place of loving and respecting men. If it does not, you become just like that guy who goes to a coach who doesn't love or respect women who teach games to men about how to manipulate women. You become the same as that guy, and it makes dating worse for everyone. So it is bad advice if it does not come from a place of loving and respecting men.
Number two comes from a place of high self-esteem. All good dating advice will always come from a place of you being the best you. You can sense this when you hear it. You will know if it's something you would do if you were your proudest self, your best self would do.
Number three, good dating advice will never teach you to give men negative emotions directly. It will never teach your actions to give a man a negative emotion. It will teach you how to be a kickass person, and men will feel some of those negative emotions as a result, but it will never directly teach you how to give a man a negative emotion.
Number four, it is understandable yet honest. It knows where you're coming from, but it tells it like it is.
And number five, it's empowering, and it's helpful the way you walk away from dating advice matters, and it's also important that you find the advice useful and applicable to your life.
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