Break-ups are painful – point black, period. There are no two ways to explain the pain that comes with a broken heart. It makes you question your worth, it makes you sceptical about future relationships and it makes you question what you did wrong to drive the other person away.
Devastation, sadness, anger, and even grief are part of your heartbreak journey. It is consuming and at the same time very debilitating, one that makes you feel alone and incapable. The rippling effect of having someone to share your thoughts, your sadness, and your happiness with and then having it taken away from you feels like someone stabbed you in the heart multiple times.
It's erratic, it’s painful and it fills you up with an amount of sadness that takes a lot of time to dissipate. You will find yourself losing sleep, not wanting to eat, and scouring for a distraction every time that your mind takes you back to the person who is the reason behind your broken heart.
Life is tough and unpredictable. Even when you dedicate years of your life to a relationship, there is no guarantee as to how the other person feels in the long run. You don’t dictate their emotions and aren’t responsible for them. So, when the inevitable happens and you and your partner aren’t on the same page – someone’s (or both) heart gets broken in the process.
Mindfulness can be a hard concept to grasp but it's effective and it helps you overcome a broken heart without constantly questioning the what-ifs. It enables you to take things slowly, be in the present and tread through the heartbreak like a champ with mindfulness meditation.
How does Mindfulness Heal a Broken Heart?
Everything surrounding us is so unpredictable that it's often hard to know what the person beside you is thinking. You might think everything is peachy and dandy and you are on the same page and things could take a tumble the very next day.
Irrespective of the degree of heartbreak you are experiencing, mindfulness enables you to collect your thoughts, process your emotions and put a meaning to the onslaught of varying feelings that are swirling in your mind.
When we grieve a broken heart, we have a tendency to bottle our feelings up. The last thing we want to do is be vulnerable and showcase our weakness to someone. That’s exactly what Mindfulness helps with.
There is no right way to deal with a broken heart. Everyone does it on their own accord and works through the sudden onslaught of sad feelings that plague their minds. With mindfulness, you find a healthy outlet for these strong emotions.
You get to feel whatever emotions your broken heart brings instead of bottling things up in the back of your mind. Relationships are tough and always a two-way street. So, if things don’t work out after a while or there are differences seeping through the cracks, be assured that the last thing you want to do is stay in denial.
The more you push your true emotions to the back of your mind, the more difficult it becomes for you to handle and process what you are feeling in the long run.
How Mindful Self-Compassion Can Heal a Broken Heart?
How often do you blame yourself because of a bad breakup?
“I probably should have done things differently.”
“Maybe I wasn’t enough for them to stick around.”
“What if I am unlovable?”
These are some common phrases that cloud one’s senses after a heartbreak. The series of “what ifs” can make you question a lot of your self-confidence and self-worth. You might feel incapable and unworthy of being with someone in the future because of one failed relationship.
It's not just you, it's human nature. Instead of reading into the context of the break-up, people indulge in self-berating thoughts.
“I deserve to hurt.” “Maybe, I deserved to be broken up with,” are common contexts of self-loathing that come with heartbreak.
This is where you need to practice mindful self-compassion. You need to realize that having these kinds of thoughts in your mind will only exacerbate your suffering. Blaming yourself for the heartbreak will only lead to destructive thoughts. It doesn’t contribute to the healing.
Mindful self-compassion allows you to seek that comfort through grieving a relationship, a companionship that you thought would last through the test of times. But, somehow, it didn’t.
Being mindful about loving yourself and being compassionate towards yourself through this healing journey allows you to recognize that there is suffering. However, instead of dwelling on the suffering, you get to overcome it. You get to understand shared human experiences and treat yourself with the level of compassion that you’d treat your best friend with.
The practice of mindfulness with self-compassion allows you to offer kindness to your own self and love yourself enough to allay it. Throughout this journey of healing, you recognize that you aren’t alone. You recognize that your relationship had run its course. Even if there was anything that you could have done, the doom was already written.
Mindfulness Practice to Heal from Heartbreak
Besides self-compassion, the healing journey from heartbreak with mindfulness involves the A.W.E practice. This three-step practice can lessen your suffering, enable you to process through the whirlwind of emotions and stay engaged with what life has in store for you in the future.
Here’s a quick breakdown of the A.W.E mindfulness practice:
Allow – feel the messy emotions and the uncomfortable feelings that plague your mind. Instead of bottling up your pain, feel it. Tide through the hardships that the situation is presenting you with. Face the unbearable psychological pain that the situation slaps you with. The more you feel it, the quicker you will be able to heal it.
Welcome – tap into the tender curiosity that is plaguing your mind. Instead of resisting the emotions, feel them. Don’t stay on the edge all the time. You don’t have to be in a constant state of fight or flight. You need to be welcoming and ease into the emotions that you are feeling.
Experience – gratitude in a situation of heartbreak can sound redundant. But, trust us, it isn’t. Experiencing gratitude and self-compassion allows you to progress toward your journey of self-healing. Instead of constantly cussing yourself about “not being enough”, it enables you to grow from this experience, nurture yourself and lighten the load.
Healing from heartbreak with mindfulness isn’t a one-day process. It's time-consuming and demands conscious effort. It involves making a choice for a healthier life. It enables you to treat the heartbreak as a momentary roadblock in your life instead of permanent damage. With mindfulness, you get to navigate through unhealthy coping mechanisms and choose a healthy outlet for all your rage, sadness, and despair.
Heartbreaks are painful but they aren’t permanent. It is a part of your life that brings a shadow but you need to realize that there is a morning after a gloomy night. Mindfulness enables you to make that overnight journey towards a sunny morning.
Want to learn Mindfulness professionally? Matrrix’s Mindfulness Certification Training could be your ticket to healing and helping others heal.
Learn with certified and experienced Mindfulness Practitioner, Dr. Paras and introduce a new dimension to your life and well-being. Register for the Mindfulness Coach Certification.