Being a parent of teenagers is very hard. They are difficult to discipline, don’t take suggestions, behave as if they know it all, and do what they want without thinking about the consequences. Moreover, they do not take responsibility for their actions, no matter what.
This attitude is not enough; they also take risks, don’t share their problems, and often trust strangers blindly, which adds to the crises.
All this creates the need to monitor their behavior while keeping an eye on them as they navigate the real and online worlds.
You can do this with the help of a parental control app; however, there are a few minor issues with this arrangement. The first is that teenage children are hard to deceive, and they will instantly detect a strange app on their mobile phones. The second is that you will lose their trust for good, and the third is that they will start rebelling more and taking risks more often.
So, what is the right way to do it?
Having a discussion with your children about using parental monitoring apps is the right thing to do. Although they may not instantly agree to this solution and may even oppose it with full force, you must ensure they understand it is not negotiable.
To help them understand better, you should encourage them to view it from your perspective. To learn how to discuss parental control apps with your kids without eroding their trust, you can follow the tips mentioned below.
Tips to Discuss Parental Control App Installation on Their Phone With Your Kids
Installing a parental control app on your child's phone is intended to build trust, reduce the gap between you and your child, and make them more responsible; however, it is also imperative for their development.
With this method of parenting, you teach them right from wrong as they grow, guiding them with the help of parental monitoring apps instead of spying on them. Before starting, you need to have a clear discussion with them about its usage and how you will monitor them.
Let’s get started with these tips:
A Conversation Can Be a Good Starter
A parental monitoring app is invasive if you are honest with yourself, and your children will also be wary of it if they learn that something like this is installed on their phone.
So, start with a conversation; tell them beforehand what you intend to do, but look for the right time to have this discussion with your children.
You can discuss the threats that can be encountered in the real and online worlds. Have the talk in a general way; don’t say that it's about them initially.
Next, talk about how careless people can be regarding their safety and how they share everything with their online connections. Discuss the safety measures that should be taken, the importance of privacy, and why it is needed in this day and age.
Only when they are placated should you mention your intention of installing the monitoring app on their phone.
Empathy Always Works; Tell Them Why You Need to Do It
Children are soft-hearted; they will understand your emotions if you discuss them openly. This approach will work like magic if you choose it instead of forcing them to accept your rules.
As you have already discussed with them the threats related to data and privacy, they will understand the importance of monitoring if you bring up your concerns and worries.
Make sure to emphasize your anxiety and how it affects your work. Remind them about situations, like how you keep calling them due to your feelings, and how they react after getting irritated.
They will understand better after your reminders, but additional assurance will help clear things up.
Assure You Are Not Trying to Spy on Them
When you tell your children that the usage of parental monitoring apps will only be limited to ensuring their safekeeping while they are out and about, this will help both of you have a relaxed mental state.
Keep assuring them that you are not trying to spy on them and are only trying to protect them from others who may try to access their personal data or deceive them with enticing offers.
Use phrases like “only periodic monitoring will be done” and that only important features such as location, social media interactions, app usage timing, etc., will be monitored.
Draw Out an Agreement; A Sure-shot Way to Build Trust
If you create an agreement with your kids about how much they should use their phones and in what capacity, and in exchange for that you can lose some of your control.
This agreement will provide assurance from their end, and by doing this, both parties can reach a mutual understanding of how much will be monitored and what will be monitored.
To strengthen this trust, you can even purchase the monitoring app in front of them with the features you have decided on. This way, they will know that you are only going to monitor limited apps and features and that you respect their privacy.
Give a Shout-out Before Installing the Monitoring App
Although you have already talked with your children about installing a parental control app on their devices, a heads-up will be beneficial before actually doing so and won’t cause harm.
Catching them red-handed in their mischief can be thrilling, but it provides only momentary satisfaction and can ruin trust between you in the long run. So avoid surprise elements and keep them limited to gifts.
Hold Your End of the Bargain; Respect the Boundaries
When you start your monitoring journey with any parental control app, remember the promises you made initially about respecting boundaries. Follow through on that promise and don’t check their every activity or try to micromanage their lives; just a cursory glance will do.
If it's their location, then do regular monitoring or set up a geofence that will alert you about their entry and exit to specific locations so that you will have peace of mind while they have their privacy.
As for using social media, SMS, and email tracking, reading partial history will do. It is enough to give you an idea of what is going on in that particular exchange with specific individuals.
Listening to call recordings should be avoided and should only be done if your children start acting strangely and do not come clear about what is bothering them. If you suspect that this is something related to their friends or school, you can listen to the call recordings they have with their friends or listen to their surroundings by giving a simple live command.
However, since you will get app usage data, you can check how they are keeping their end of the bargain. If they cross it and use any app or platform excessively, you can monitor its activities.
Involve Your Kids in the Findings; Talk to Them
Whatever your findings are, don’t keep them to yourself; talk about them with your kids. That’s the only way to educate them about the threats and make them more responsible while they surf the internet and make new connections.
You can also discuss phone usage with them and provide them insights into their habits such as for long periods they use any app. With the help of timestamps, you can talk to them about the times when they were active on the phone and what they were doing, such as being active on WhatsApp, Instagram, or any other social media app late at night, or using YouTube in the wee hours.
From your findings from their chats, you can divert them from toxic or manipulative people if they encounter any and save them from getting bullied or spammed. You can tell them that everything and everyone is not as they seem and caution them about deceptive people.
These findings that you get with parental monitoring apps will help them reflect on their habits and improve them making them more responsible. It can also lessen your burden as your children mature and learn about the ways of society.
Highlight Improved Relationships; Rediscover Your Bond
When you do monitoring, you get a lot of insights, and their sole purpose is to strengthen your bond with your children.
They work as conversation openers when you discuss your findings with your children. You can even initiate discussions on sensitive topics such as intimate relationships if your findings indicate their interest in the subject and educate them on how to be safe when they start dating.
This is a sure way to help your children open up about their thoughts and feelings and bring you information about any potential suitors they may have without you having to invade their personal space.
This way the parental control app will help you rediscover the bond you used to have with your kids when they were very young. It will also alleviate the tensions you previously felt, where you were always jumping to conclusions about their behavior and their misunderstanding of your intentions.
But with the help of a monitoring app, you can mend this gap and focus on strengthening your bond besides having arguments.
Your Takeaway
The methods discussed above are a surefire way to discuss and install a parental monitoring app on your child’s device without eroding their trust.
As for which app to choose, going with CHYLDMONITOR can prove to be a good choice if your child has an Android device as it offers amazing features like live camera streaming and live screen recording. It also has the feature of geofencing, which can set alerts when they enter or exit a certain geolocation, or at both times.
You can choose ONEMONITAR if you want to have options in features to choose from as it provides two plans in different time ranges: for a month, then three months, and lastly for a year. ONEMONITAR’s parental control app also has a plan for iOS device monitoring.
Go with whichever app you feel most comfortable with and that also suits your needs as both of them are made in India so you can have an added security and authenticity factor. Also, both of them have their own in-house dashboard on which they keep the tracked data and do not use any third-party app or platform so that your child’s data does not get into any wrong hands and remains safe.
Moreover, you get two-step verification to authenticate access to the dashboard, which is an added security measure so that you can focus on mending your relationship with your children and help them when they need your assistance, and not worry about security threats that usually come with monitoring apps.
Another important factor is that they don’t involve rooting or jailbreaking, preventing your child’s device from becoming susceptible to malware or other social engineering attacks.
So, go and explore your options and get your best icebreaker now. Keep in mind that your main goal is to understand your kids better and to have context about their behavior so that both of you never feel again that the other party does not get it.
Always remember that these things—emotional bonding and trust—take time to build, and when you don’t rush it and let it take its course, it lasts and becomes unbreakable.
Have a happy parenting journey!