It can be quite challenging to detect a frenemy, someone who pretends to be a friend while secretly harboring negative feelings or intentions towards you. This is because frenemies are experts at disguising their true emotions and intentions. Here are some signs that may help you identify a frenemy:
Gossip
Frenemies often gossip and spread rumors about you, pretending to be concerned while using your personal information against you. This behavior can be hurtful and damaging to your reputation.
Backhanded Compliment
Frenemies often give backhanded compliments that sound like praise but actually conceal criticism. This can make you feel uneasy and cultivate doubt in your ability to do your job.
Competitiveness
When a friend becomes a frenemy, they may constantly compete with you, which can often lead to them undermining your achievements and trying to outdo you. While healthy competition among friends is normal, frenemies take it to an unhealthy level.
Jealousy
Jealousy can be a common issue among frenemies, leading to subtle or passive-aggressive behavior due to feelings of threat towards others' success or good fortune.
Lack of Genuine Happiness
A frenemy may struggle to express genuine happiness for your achievements, unlike a true friend who would be truly happy for you.
Conditional Friendship
Conditional friendships, or “frenemies,” may only stick around when it benefits them. They might disappear during tough times or show up again only when they need something.
Inconsistency
When someone is a frenemy, they can act inconsistently by being friendly one moment and hostile the next. This unpredictable behavior can be a warning sign.
Selective Support
A frenemy offers selective support – only when it benefits them, or you're not in direct competition. A genuine friend celebrates your successes, but a frenemy might be secretly envious or unsupportive.
Sabotage
Frenemies may undermine your efforts or success by offering insincere advice or actively working against your goals. This can slow down progress. It's important to watch out for signs of sabotage from these individuals.
If you constantly feel uncomfortable around someone, it is critical to trust your instincts, pay attention to your gut feelings, and assess the overall dynamic of the relationship. Mary Beth has published an excellent book, “How to Take Care of Snake Bites,” which highlights how negativity in friendships can affect children and has devised solutions to deal with modern-day frenemies and bullies. Grab a copy today to learn more.
