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How to talk to Girl on Tinder

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Before you've even said hi, swipe left, swipe right, and super-like. Your chat game needs to be strong if you don't want to be the jerk she screenshots for her WhatsApp group called “why men are dicks,” but rather the man she downs shots with on a crazy night out. Here's how to approach a woman on Tinder.

Tinder introductions

I don't sure why, but saying “Hello” or “Hi” doesn't seem to be enough anymore. Instead, try opening with something slightly bizarre but not creepy. What three ingredients are essential for your ideal fry-up? What is the one thing that everyone else enjoys but not you? Which gif best captures who you are, if you could? even “Favorite dinosaur?”

Charm and humor

As long as you stay on the right side of sleazy, there is potential for charm. It's not an open mic night, so don't be scared to be hilarious; you don't have to “win.” Most males go beyond and either get crude too quickly or attempt to be incredibly arrogant to appear superior. Be yourself. Allow her space to express her personality as well. Oh, and try not to ever be hilariously sexist. Answer all of her inquiries truthfully but with humor. You can be confident because much self-pity can be draining, but don't boast. If you're unsure of the line where arrogance and coquettishness overlap, steer clear of both.

How to compliment on Tinder

Accuracy in this area might be challenging. Yes, you say, “cracking tits” could be hurled at any random woman in the street by men. To which I would respond, “No, it wasn't easier for women at all; they really didn't like that.” There is no universally recognised symbol for “feel free to compliment my breasts using Seventies tabloid-speak,” although it is true that some women have no problem with catcalling or very direct, objectifying compliments. However, you can never tell which of these women this is until it is too late. Take extra precautions.

I'm afraid saying “I like your eyes” is just saying “beautiful jugs” in new clothes, so try complimenting what you see in their photos instead. Ask where it was taken, compliment them on their attire, comment on how happy or enjoying themselves they appear to be, tell them you've been somewhere similar before, or that it makes you think of anything. You can compliment her appearance or beauty, and she'll probably accept it with grace, but don't say much more than that in casual conversation.

Good conversation topics for Tinder

Telly, movies, travel, the news (not Trump), your hometown, your job (you can only say three things; don't go all “Here's a PowerPoint of my last three sales conferences”), your ideal weekend, food, especially breakfast items, things you love to hate, style (don't slate hers; save it for the blog), books, writers, and me. Keep most things “up” No complaining.

Bad conversation topics for Tinder

Telly, movies, travel, the news (but not Trump), your hometown, your job (you can only say three things; don't go all “Here's a PowerPoint of my last three sales conferences”), your ideal weekend, food, especially breakfast items, things you love to hate, style (but don't be a grooming bore; save it for the blog), books, writers, and me. Keep everything mostly “up.” Do not complain.

Sliding to IRL

Asking to go on a date after a few nights of talking is OK. Allow her to choose the time and place so that she feels protected. If she agrees to let you make the decision, consider suggesting a bar or asking her if there is somewhere she has always wanted to go. Talking about the dos and don'ts of specific locations can strengthen relationships; it's comforting to know that others share your dislike for those locations. Keep in mind to always act completely non-creepy.

If the chat is drying up

She may have ten other chats open, you may be both exhausted, or you may have become bored of hearing about how she used a defibrillator on a sick crab during her gap year. No big deal. Say nothing more than you have to depart, it was pleasant speaking with you, and you hope to catch up soon. The following time you chat, she might have a different attitude. assuming she doesn't stop you.

Other stuff you can do:

Give your Tinder pics a once-over

It's not a recent photo of you wearing a London 2012 T-shirt. Unless they are extremely spectacular, your images shouldn't be more than a year old. Have a female buddy take some for you. Make sure she has a basic understanding of Photoshop. It must resemble you. The only exceptions are photos that are extremely hilarious, overly stylized, or in which you are pictured with a Hollywood A-lister and don't appear to be a contest winner. Even then, two or more of your photographs must be recent.

Absolute no-nos: childhood snaps; a pet; football club badges; a random motorbike; leaning on the bonnet of a car; anything involving a “thumbs-up”; you and your ex – unless your ex is the afore-mentioned Hollywood A-lister.

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