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Before delving into the sociological viewpoint and exploring the drawbacks and advantages of live-in relationships, let's understand what a live-in relationship is and what it entails. A live-in relationship is when a couple decides to cohabit without getting married to each other. Usually, couples who decide to move in together are romantically, sexually, and emotionally involved with each other in an intimate relationship and want to live together.
When it comes to couples cohabiting before marriage, especially in a country like India, there are strong viewpoints shared by individuals belonging to different age groups. The concept of live-in relationships may be a highly polarizing topic, especially in the conservative Indian culture. There are also a number of books on live-in relationships which discuss these topics and provide a fresh perspective.
Couples who wish to live together without the legal bounds of marriage in India might find themselves in a tough place. There might be a lot of questions and concerns in their head about whether it is a good idea to cohabit before marriage, why they want to live together before marriage, how will their parents or guardians react to this, what will their relatives and loved ones say about cohabitation without marriage.
The Live-In Situation in India
Unfortunately, Indian culture is not as open to the concept of living together without marital ties as the western society. Unmarried couples living together have become quite widely accepted in western society. The scenario is starkly different in India. However, there does seem to be a rise in the practice of living together before marriage, even in India. In the last few decades, the concept and practice of living together have slowly been brought up by the youth of the country. Even if it isn't fully or widely accepted by the older generations, at least it isn't a topic that is completely off-limits.
Perception of Living Together Without Marriage
As mentioned earlier, the Indian youth seem to be quite open and into the idea of living together before or without marriage. So, what's up with the older generation? Why are the elderly or people above 40 or 50 years of age still quite against the idea of living together before marriage? A lot of it might be due to the general perception of marriage in India.
Indian culture views marriage as a means to legally live together and have children. However, live-in relationships challenge this very notion. Live-in relationships convey that two people want to live together to explore their intimacy, both sexual and emotional. Therefore, the very purpose of being with someone, in the case of live-in relationships, is perceived to be for recreational and pleasure purposes instead of procreation!
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Sex is still a taboo concept in India, especially among the older generation. Therefore, sex from the viewpoint of pleasure doesn't seem to go down well with the elderly. That's probably why live-in relationships have a long way to go in terms of acceptance in Indian society.
Living Together – The Benefits
Here are some of the main advantages of cohabiting before or without marriage for couples who are considering it:
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Informed decision-making about the future of a relationship
Couples who choose to go down the route of cohabiting as a way of being together instead of getting married or before getting married, get a good idea of what the future holds for the relationship. This decision has wider implications for romantic relationships. When couples cohabit, they understand how life will be like together and whether they're compatible enough to actually be together for the rest of their lives or whether it is wiser to end the relationship.
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A clear understanding of compatibility
When two people who are romantically involved move in together, they learn to adjust to each other's lifestyle and being around each other at all times. They learn whether they can comfortably be around each other, share household and occupational responsibilities and live together harmoniously. A live-in relationship is a great way to test the waters before sealing the deal!
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Helps you understand the value of marriage
Marriage is a commitment bound by law. A live-in relationship is a commitment that is not bound by law. Living together without marriage is a wonderful opportunity to explore one another and understand your own as well as your partner's priorities. If things don't pan out well, it is easier to deal with the consequence of a live-in relationship ending than a marriage. The decision to end a marriage is a lot more complicated.
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No need to adhere to familial obligations
One of the biggest advantages of a live-in relationship is that there is little to no involvement from family members. When a couple gets married, they each have to fulfill certain responsibilities and duties related to the significant other's family. Marriage involves the entire family. Live-in relationships are free from such duties and obligations. It's just the couple living together.
Living Together – The Drawbacks
Here are some of the significant drawbacks or disadvantages of living together without any legal implications:
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The relationship might become boring
It is anyway very well known that in any romantic relationship, the spark and passion that highlight the infatuation phase of the relationship, does down with time. However, when such couples get married, they have the opportunity to learn a lot of new things about their partners because they get to be around their significant others all the time. Marriage is a new chapter that provides a lot of scope to both partners to learn new things about each other. For couples who live together before marriage, if and when they do get married, there is hardly anything new left to discover about each other. So, it might feel monotonous.
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There is a lot of prejudice associated with living together
This is another significant drawback of live-in relationships in India. Owing to the negative attitude that the older generations have about live-in relationships, couples may have to put up with a lot of negativity or isolation from the older generations. The decision to live together may give rise to a lot of conflicts in the family and social circle.
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Lack of stability
Owing to the fact that both partners are free to walk out of a live-in arrangement whenever they wish to, trust, commitment, and stability in a live-in relationship are difficult to maintain.
Although live-in relationships are legal in India, the concept of cohabiting without legal implications still has a long way to go in terms of acceptance in society.
