Divorce can become more complicated when parents have children together. Ending the marital relationship does not end the parents' responsibilities to their children, and decisions made during the divorce may shape the family's schedule and decision-making structure for years.
Illinois parents contemplating divorce should understand some of the issues that can arise concerning parenting time, allocation of parental responsibilities, child support, and the overall divorce process.
Parenting Time Is About More Than Dividing Days
A parenting schedule determines when children will be in each parent's care, but an effective plan often needs considerably more detail than a simple division of days.
Parents may need to consider school schedules, extracurricular activities, holidays, vacations, transportation, exchanges, work schedules, and travel.
The age of the children can matter as well. A schedule that works well for a young child may not be appropriate for a teenager with school activities, employment, sports, or other commitments.
Parents developing a plan can benefit from considering some of the practical issues involved in creating a workable parenting-time plan after divorce.
A good parenting plan should provide enough structure to reduce unnecessary disagreements while recognizing that children's needs can change.
Allocation of Parental Responsibilities Is a Separate Issue
Parenting time and allocation of parental responsibilities are related, but they are not identical.
Illinois law provides for allocation of significant decision-making responsibilities involving important aspects of a child's life. Depending upon the circumstances, these responsibilities can concern education, health care, religion, and extracurricular activities.
Parents may agree on how these responsibilities should be allocated. When they cannot agree, the court can make decisions based upon the statutory best-interest factors and the evidence presented.
Individuals wanting a broader explanation can review the issues surrounding parenting time and parental responsibilities when divorcing with children in Illinois.
Think Practically About the Children's Schedule
Parents understandably have strong feelings about the amount of time they spend with their children. A workable parenting plan should also consider practical realities.
Where do the parents live relative to the children's school? What time does school begin? How will transportation work? Do the children participate in sports or other extracurricular activities? What are the parents' work schedules?
Frequent transitions may work well for some families and poorly for others.
The objective should be to create a structure that can actually function in everyday life rather than one that looks balanced only on paper.
Communication Can Become an Important Issue
Parents do not necessarily have to agree about everything to successfully parent after divorce. They do, however, need a workable method of exchanging important information.
A parenting plan may address communication concerning medical appointments, school matters, activities, schedule changes, and other issues involving the children.
Some parents communicate effectively through telephone calls or text messages. Others may benefit from email or a co-parenting communication platform that creates a clear written record.
The appropriate method depends upon the circumstances.
Keep Children Away From Adult Disputes
Divorce can involve serious disagreements about money, property, parenting, and past events.
Children generally should not be placed in the middle of those disputes.
Using children to deliver messages, questioning them extensively about the other parent's household, or discussing litigation with them can create additional stress.
Parents can disagree strongly in court while still trying to protect their children from unnecessary exposure to adult conflict.
Contested and Uncontested Divorce Can Look Very Different
Not every divorce requires a trial.
When spouses can agree on the issues necessary to resolve their marriage, they may be able to proceed through an uncontested process. When significant disagreements remain, the matter may become contested and require additional negotiation, discovery, motion practice, mediation, or trial.
This overview of contested and uncontested divorce in Illinois explains some of the distinctions.
A divorce also does not necessarily remain in one category throughout the case. A matter that begins with substantial disagreements can eventually settle. Conversely, issues that initially appear resolved can become disputed.
Parenting Issues Can Often Be Narrowed
Even when parents cannot agree on everything, they may be able to resolve individual issues.
For example, parents might agree on the regular school-year schedule while disagreeing about holidays. They might agree about medical decision-making but disagree about educational decisions.
Identifying the actual points of disagreement can sometimes make negotiations more productive.
Instead of treating the entire parenting arrangement as one dispute, parents and their attorneys can determine which issues are resolved and focus attention on those that remain.
Children's Needs Change Over Time
A parenting arrangement established when a child is six years old may not work as well when that child is sixteen.
School demands increase. Activities change. Teenagers may obtain jobs, begin driving, or develop more independent social schedules.
Parents should recognize that children's needs evolve. Illinois law provides procedures for seeking modification of parenting arrangements when the applicable legal requirements are satisfied.
This does not mean that parents should repeatedly return to court over minor disagreements. It does mean that a parenting plan should be approached as a structure designed to serve children in real life rather than as an abstract allocation of hours.
Financial Issues Still Matter
Parents should also remember that parenting issues are only one component of a divorce involving children.
Child support, health insurance, medical expenses, childcare costs, extracurricular expenses, and other financial matters may need to be addressed.
At the same time, the spouses may need to resolve maintenance, property division, debts, retirement benefits, and other issues associated with ending their marriage.
Resolving parenting matters therefore does not necessarily resolve the entire divorce.
Focus on a Workable Long-Term Arrangement
Divorce requires parents to make important decisions during what can be an emotionally difficult period.
A workable parenting arrangement should consider the children's needs, the parents' schedules, transportation, school, activities, holidays, communication, and significant decision-making responsibilities.
Parents should also understand the distinction between issues they can resolve through agreement and those that may ultimately require a court decision.
An Illinois divorce attorney can help a parent understand the state's requirements concerning parenting time and allocation of parental responsibilities and work toward an arrangement appropriate for the circumstances of the family.
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