Crush and love biologically elicit a similar response in our body, such as release of feel-good hormones and blushing. But are they the same though?
Let’s see.
Crush is when you are attracted to a person. You don’t know much about them; however, you project your fantasy or ideality into this person rather than who they really are and develop feelings of infatuation towards them.
Love on the other hand is much deeper than the superficial fantasies. It is built on emotional connection and having trust with each other. You would not project your meaningless fantasy into this other person. But, it is to note that most love begin as crushes.
We are not really here to discuss the difference between love and crush. Rather, let us discuss what happens to our body.
We asked a bunch of psychiatrists and they agree that love and crush are essentially good for your mental health. There will be heartbreaks for sure, but still, good for your mental health.
Humans are biologically wired to maintain the population of the species and hence the natural attraction we feel towards each other. There is no clear concept or formula as to define the process of love.
When we are in love or crushing on someone, our brain releases several neurotransmitters such as, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, testosterone and androgen.
Helen E Fisher and his team classify primary emotion categories for mating and reproduction:
the sex drive, or lust, characterized by the craving for sexual gratification;
attraction, characterized by increased energy and focused attention on one or more potential mates, accompanied in humans by feelings of exhilaration, “intrusive thinking” about a mate, and the craving for emotional union with this mate or potential mate;
attachment, characterized by the maintenance of close social contact in mammals, accompanied in humans by feelings of calm, comfort, and emotional union with a mate. [Ref. 2]
Lust is primarily driven by the hormones testosterone and estrogen. The desire for sexual gratification is very primal; it is rooted in our system much like every other species on this earth to keep our population from extinction.
Hypothalamus releases these two hormones in question when a person sees a potential partner. These hormones play a huge role in a person’s libido, or sex drive. Testosterone in general increases sex drive in everyone, equally. Women reported that they felt an increase in their sex drive when they ovulate. This may be due to the fact that when intercourse do happen during that ovulation period, the chances of pregnancy are considerably high.
Attraction is when people genuinely are interested in one another beyond their sexual attraction. Sure, people can be attracted to each other and lust over each other but these two can happen without one another.
Your body will find a spike in dopamine when you are attracted to a person. Since dopamine is a reward hormone, you will feel this exhilaratingly happy feeling whenever you see the person you are attracted to. And, are you feeling a sense of giddiness, sweaty palms and everything? Meet norepinephrine who stimulates these behaviour in our body.
Attachment is when you feel a genuine affection to another person not necessarily having the urge to intercourse or romantic intention. This—researchers and many other people who lived life long enough believe that— is the key to a long-term healthy relationship. This kind of attachment can be seen between you and your parents or you and your friend or you and your coworker who makes the place a little bit better.
Does this mean love is good for you?
It is, indeed, good for you. However, if you heard about the sayings ‘too much of anything is good for nothing’ or the even more profound one ‘there is always another side’, you can gauge whether your love is healthy or unhealthy.
Love can be the place where things like jealousy, harassment and infidelity spring.
It is not a huge discovery that love can make us do things that cannot come under common sense. But, if you are conscious enough, you will be able to give the love you have in abundance and receive the love you deserve in plenty, without hurting the other person in the process.
References:
- harvard.edu
- helenfisher.com
