The role of grandparents in children's education is essential in a world where parents are increasingly busy ensuring the family’s financial security, and the sense of identity and moral values are slightly outdated concepts in the current globalization process that we are witnessing. Grandparents' involvement in raising children is crucial in terms of their mental, social and academic development.
Emotional relationships between grandchildren and grandparents can influence the psychological, educational, and social development of children in the long term. It has been observed by teachers at pre primary schools in Kolkata that when children receive more affection from their grandparents, they tend to develop greater self-confidence, having a long-lasting positive impact on their behaviour.
When relationships between grandchildren and grandparents are harmonious, the benefits for nursery school children are significant:
- The development of the child's sense of belonging and identity
- Transmitting the values and cultural heritage specific to each family
- Offering traditional models of conduct
- Unlimited time resources for reading, lessons, games, and walks
The actions that the parents perform with children are complemented by those performed by grandparents. The important thing is that each member of the family is valuable through their individuality – each has something to offer and receive from each – there are dynamic, particular exchanges between all family members. Only in this way can harmony be achieved in the family system.
The role of grandparents
Excellent grandparents educate and support their grandchildren with love. To be effective, grandparents must understand and assume the role they play in their grandchildren's lives. Obviously, this will change as the children grow, and their needs and desires will be in constant change.
Guardian of family values
Grandparents who assume this role strengthen the family’s cultural heritage through stories about their childhood and that of their parents, by keeping up to date with all the changes that take place in the extended family and through family gatherings organized in their homes.
A friend
Grandparents enjoy their grandchildren without the same worries that a parent constantly has. They are often more lenient and prefer to overlook the “little manipulative abuses” of their much-loved grandchildren. However, firm education, offered with love, should be done by each individual adult – be it a grandparent or a parent. Thus, children will not see their parents as “enemies” just because they impose healthy limits on them, unlike grandparents who are more lenient.
Teacher
Whether it's about how to hammer a nail, how to make a bun or how to braid hair – grandparents always have a lesson to teach their grandchildren. Apart from the practical things they assimilate from their grandparents, nursery school children learn principles such as good manners, respect for adults, and ethics. Activities such as fishing, crocheting, painting, and football are meant to give them the practical and social skills that will be so valuable as they grow. Reading bedtime stories can increase children's creativity and playful spirit, while grandparents offer them important imagination lessons.
Grandparents are more likely to give gifts to children than parents. The desire to pamper them is irresistible, and the toys and sweets offered without any special occasion abound. We can direct their generosity by setting up economic funds, from which the children can benefit in the future. Banks offer numerous savings plans for children to help them take the first steps toward a successful career.
Raising and educating children involves a series of responsibilities and when parents feel they need help, they turn to grandparents most of the time.
Teachers at pre primary schools in Kolkata speak about the advantages that children have when they grow up with their grandparents nearby.
The specialists from English medium schools near Garia state that a close relationship between grandchildren and grandparents is beneficial for both children and parents and grandparents. Parents get a breather. Children learn new things from grandparents while being safe, and grandparents feel useful and enjoy their grandchildren.
Children raised with the involvement of grandparents have access to different “worlds”.
The children raised with their grandparents are the children who have direct access to their origin, to the environment from which their parents come, and above all, to a world less altered by the new social paradigms.
Grandparents help grandchildren feel more “free”
Very often, little ones are more like their grandparents than their parents, and as a result, grandparents are able to understand them much more easily. At the same time, grandparents have the time and patience that parents do not always show, due to worries or a busy schedule.
Grandparents have experience
The most important thing is not to forget that grandparents know what it's like to be a parent, they also went through it, and for this reason, they have the ability to intuit certain reactions and prevent certain conflicts. Thus, for the harmonious growth of children and peace of mind for parents and grandparents, it is good for grandparents and grandchildren to spend time together and enjoy each other as long as they can. However, it is not advisable for the parents' responsibilities to be placed on the grandparents' shoulders.
Different views on education
From our experience at one of the best English medium schools near Garia, it happens that parents, once they have entered this new role, have a different vision than grandparents about how they want to raise and educate their children. This is when the distinct personal experiences and discrepancies between the two generations speak for themselves. Each of the two parties usually starts with the best intentions but may use different strategies to implement them.
While it is developmentally healthy to allow grandparents to intervene in our children's education, their interventions will vary depending on the flexibility of parents.
Sometimes the challenges have to do with grandparents being too permissive, tend not following the rules set by the parents. This aspect will make the grandchildren perhaps prefer to stay with the grandparents, associating the place and the grandparents with more freedom, less time spent in lessons, and more play and fun.
In some cases, this permissiveness can also include eating habits, and grandparents being more generous than parents when it comes to sweets. Under the guise of a harmless indulgence, these behaviours can undermine parental authority. Although we allow grandparents to intervene in our children's education, their interventions can sometimes conflict with the rules and boundaries we set.
Competition between mother and grandmother
There are also situations where grandparents, especially grandmothers, nurture the belief that they are “better mothers” than the biological ones, this way of thinking marking a competition between grandmother and mother. This dynamic between the two women can push them towards behaviours less oriented and adapted to the emotional needs of the children, being motivated by the desire to demonstrate superior maternal skills to the other and thus obtain validation.
Grandparents' wisdom
Grandparents are the parents of the child's parents and ensure the link between generations. Our children were born into two families: the wife and the husband.
With the help of grandparents, children understand the notion of extended family and better understand the past, understand the cycles of life. Getting older means knowing more. During life, we learn and understand thousands of things, and the child has the chance to learn them from us. Grandparents manage to answer children's many questions, usually with a lot of patience, including the child's curiosities about what you were like as a child. This information is useful for children and serves as a reference point for them.
Integrate the grandparents into the child's life if possible
Grandparents are not the same as parents, so it is unrealistic to have this expectation. The child will make a difference and that will help him in life.
It is not healthy to deprive grandparents of the affection of a grandchild. Even if visiting the grandparents makes you feel bad, put the child's best interests first. We cannot change our parents, let alone our grandparents.
Teach children to respect their grandparents and not allow them to speak ill of them or treat them unkindly. Our role is to teach children to behave well with those around them, including grandparents.
The larger and more varied the extended family, the more children learn from these different situations. The extended family is a society in miniature, it is the safe place where the child experiences various behaviours and learns to communicate with different people, manage conflicts, and solve problems. The role of parents is to smooth things over when needed and maintain a balance between children and grandparents.
