Always, Choose Kind

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"When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind" - I read this in R.J Palacio\'s brilliant book, \'Wonder\'. While I\'ll review the book later, today I want to talk about kindness. When I read this quote, I thought how can one be right or kind? Why can\'t it be right and kind? Then I realized that only in some cases the \'and\' can be applied. What exactly is kindness? How does one apply it? Is being nice the same as being kind? It is something that requires a forced effort? Is it something that is expected to make you feel good? Does it come out of pity or genuineness?

All these questions plagued my mind. But soon I had the answer to it too. Being kind is a simple act of doing something good for someone else. What the recipient or the crowd feels, is secondary. Kindness should be like an inbuilt reflex in us humans, sadly it is not. Honestly, I wouldn\'t say that I am the kindest person on the planet. I\'m very very far away from that. Being blunt and being kind somehow don\'t go well together. But you know what? Slowly, I\'m learning how to be more kind. To others and to myself. I grew up in a not so good environment, where I was mocked for being poor, for my skin color and almost everything that one can think of. The almost immediate reflex that I always have is that of defense. Every thing else came second. But now, I\'m understanding kindness and how easy it is to be kind.

I don\'t forgive or forget easily, but now I have learnt to forgive to a certain extent. Forget, well we\'ll see about that later. Earlier as I met people or scrolled down feed on social media, I just looked at stuff and let be. But now, I take out a couple of minutes of my time to genuinely appreciate someone or something. Today, I compliment people more and do think twice before saying something not so pleasant. Forgetting the old grudge or how someone wronged me in the past, I\'ve learnt to appreciate the newer things. It maybe a blog post of theirs or an image. I do not think twice before going ahead and leaving a positive comment. If I meet them in person, I have learnt to smile brighter and appreciate the smaller and recent things about them. I don\'t know if this is called being kind, but I do feel good about it.

Why am I talking about this all of a sudden? I have never been the one with profound thoughts or the one to get philosophical. Then why? Well, I\'ll tell you about the three incidents that changed me in the last two weeks and made me take a closer look at kindness. Reading \'Wonder\' would be the fourth one.

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A few days ago, as I was headed home from work, I was stuck at a small traffic jam at a junction near home. I stay 2 kms away from work, but I have to pass some major IT companies and other office areas on my way. Thanks to this, there is some traffic at almost every hour. As I sat in my regular auto and waited for the jam to be cleared, I saw a man holding a whistle and trying to control the flow of traffic. No, he was not a traffic policeman. He was wearing the uniform of a security guard. He must have been a part of one of the offices around.s But today, he was standing in the middle of the junction and trying his best to help the traffic move. He must be a young chap of under 30 years and he clearly was struggling at what he was trying to do. Many vehicles got past him even when he was asking them to stop. Some riders/drivers yelled at him and asked him to move. One biker almost threatened to run him down and laughed at him. Still, the guy held on. Slowly, he managed to clear the traffic single-handedly. As I passed by him, I yelled a "Thank you, Sir" at him and he smiled back with a thumbs-up. I don\'t know why, but that incident hasn\'t left my mind till date.

There is a American corn counter at the cafeteria of my workplace where the man behind it makes some delicious corn salads. I buy from him on a regular basis and do engage in small talk once in a while. On January 2nd, as I bought a salad from him, I wished him a very happy new year. He smiled and wished me back. As I was about to leave he says that its been two days since the new year that he\'s at work and I was the first one to wish him. It just broke my heart. People normally just place their order, pay him and walk away with it. How long would it take to wish someone? They don\'t have to do it everyday, but on one special day, how tough would it be? All I had to do was to say "Happy New Year" and he felt so good about it. Imagine how nice he would have felt had everyone who came to his counter wished him. Is it a matter of status levels or just ignorance in general, I don\'t understand.

At my apartment, we have a rule of waste segregation. Every house is expected to separate the wet and dry waste in two bins and everyday the security guard comes to every floor with the main big bins and we are expected to go drop our wastes in it. I do it diligently and make sure I don\'t dirty the place. A few days ago, the security guard thanks me for doing this. I responded saying that I should thank him for coming to collect this everyday. He then said that I\'m the only one who walks up from my door to the lobby to dispose of the waste. Apparently the other houses just leave the bins outside their doors and expect him to collect it and empty it. He was very sad about it and continued to add that he doesn\'t mind doing it for senior citizens, but why do the young folk expect him to do that? The very fact that he comes floor to floor to collect the waste is a big deal for me. Why can\'t people see that? One man actually had the audacity to tell him to collect the waste quickly and leave as it was stinking. It is waste, what else do you expect?

That is when I realized that it is not difficult to be kind and how important it was to be kind. Small things that you do make such a big difference in the lives of others. From that day on, I do not think twice about smiling at a neighbor (yeah, even that obnoxious one I mentioned above), buying something from a kid at a signal or responding to a tweet/status/message online. We need more kindness in today\'s cruel world and everyone should make a start within themselves.

Compassion and kindness go hand in hand. Make a start and you will see the difference. Second, with the world. First, within you.