Aussies, It Is Shameful and Unpatriotic , The Way You Are Responding to Ball Tampering By Cricketers

Balasubramaniam A M
Balasubramaniam A M
9 min read

   

          The act of Ball Tampering by Steve Smith, David Warner and Cameron Bancroft is mortifying the spirit with which the gentleman’s game has to be played. That they have been punished by both ICC and Cricket Australia is the fairest in the scheme of things. Cheats have no place in Cricket as much as weeds have no place amongst the crops.                Hypothetically assuming, it was not the Aussie cricketers but the Indian cricketers who were involved in the ball tampering case. I am focusing here on how intense the reaction of BCCI, Politicians, Celebrities, Breaking News Journalists, Busy Bodies, Ex-Cricketers, Cricket Experts and the Public would have been. It is hypothetical and full of sarcasm but not devoid of reality
Board of Cricket Control in India


                Definitely would have called off the tour. Cricket South Africa would have been on its knees and agreed to have an unofficial test match in which none of the umpires would have been involved. 
BCCI would have postured to withdraw from ICC and possibly got support from the Asian Boards as well as a few Associate Members. BCCI would have never executed its threat of withdrawing from ICC but ensured that either the next term as President of ICC or rights to host the World Cup goes to it. Sir Ian Botham would have cried foul against the strong arm tactics of BCCI but would have got a lot of abuses from Indian fans and also down-rating of his Facebook page.                The ICC finally in its enquiry would have found that the sandpaper was picked up by the player wrongly assuming it to be a paper tissue during lunch break.

Political Class


                Definitely an Honourable Member of the Parliament would have given a calling attention motion, if the Parliament was in session. Obviously given the disruptions, the motion would never have been carried out. The Government would have been pressurized to summon the envoys of South Africa and Great Britan (both umpires hail from England) and give a piece of its mind but wisely would have refrained from it.
It would be surprising if one of the Honourable Politician had not asked for a ban on cricket and instead concentrate on promoting ancient Indian games. He would have also gone ahead and claimed that `Cricket’ was part of ancient India but was stolen by the Mughals who handed it over to the Britishers.
Celebrities


                All the twitter accounts in Bollywood would have started excreting their own opinion on cricket and ball tampering related issues. 
                    Big B, being such a patriot is always sensitive to any issue affecting Indian cricket, would have torn apart the ICC and its decisions. He also would have been critical of Indian cricket commentators/ journalists who are not standing with the Indian cricket team. 
             There would have been a stream of jokes on the opinions of THAT low IQed Bollywood Actress on ball tampering.

Breaking News Journalists

                               They would have explored and shredded the issue into so many pieces that archipelagos would seem like continents.
                The most subtle among them would have landed at the doorsteps of the cameraman and umpires homes to enquire about their general mental state and financial dealings of the family.
                The outlandish of them would have concluded that they were in league with the outlawed don to destablise Public sentiment, Indian cricket and IPL.
                The weirdest amongst them would have traced the origins of one of the umpires to General Dyer and how this was the revenge of an Englishman against India.
                The imaginative of them would have scrapped cricket balls with sandpaper, jelly, raitha, and what not to prove that swing of the ball is not affected by any of these, but depends on skill of the bowler. All of them would have definitely blamed Nehru for being lenient with the Britishers at the time of independence.
Busy Bodies

                One of them would have filed a case against the Cameraman, the two umpires, match referee and ICC under Section 268 of the IPC. The courts would have had none of it and dismissed the case with costs to the appellant. 
       There would have been burning of effigies and mock funerals of all those who affected Indian Cricket’s interest. 
         The most stupendous of the busy bodies would have asked the courts to frame charges against the cricketers involved, for treason.
Ex Cricketers and Commentators


                The legendary opener would have recounted countless instances when the white cricketers had been let away. He would have talked of the need for BCCI to assert its importance in world cricket.
                The tracer bullet cricketer would have thundered at the top of his office with liberal use of expletives.
                The tweet smart flat track bully would have come up possibly with a tweet `Long Ne Kiya Wrong, Illingworth you are not worth, Andy there was nothing sandy about the paper’.
                The one cricket commentator who dared to speak his conscience would have been lampooned rightly by Big B and lost his commentary contracts for a few more years.
General Public


                The public would have been rightly outraged about this issue which can destablise the economy and security of the country.
              The belligerent and patriotic amongst them would have ended up abusing the twitter of Oscar Awards presuming it belongs to Zotani Oscar who caught the entire scandal in his camera.
          Nigella Lawson too would have been abused on her twitter handle assuming her to be Nigel Long.
         The ungratefulness of South Africans for the contributions of Mahatma Gandhi to that country would have been recalled.
           Also, the fact that BCCI played a major role in CSA return to international cricket would have been reminded.South Africans would have been ridiculed for never being able to win an ICC tournament. Some of them would have taken it as far as to say that this is the reason why Indian cricketers are being fixed.
            The South African tourism Facebook page would have received lots of abuses. Their weather, food habits, culture, customs and tradition would have been ridiculed by those people who have never travelled beyond their district headquarters.
        South Africans would have been confused for South Americans by the ill informed and ridiculed for Mayan Calendar
                Unfortunately Australians did none of these but instead Cricket Australia’s sponsor Magellan has withdrawn their sponsorship of the cricket team. Most Australian sponsors of Steve Smith have terminated their contracts. Sponsors of David Warner are expected to follow suit. Their cricket board has banned them for a year. The public has no sympathies for them.
 What a shameful and unpatriotic way to react Aussies, learn from us.Original link

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