How to Give Yourself the Attention you Deserve

Enter your text here ...The act of putting ourselves first is not typically something we get taught as children. It only comes up in later years in the context where we have been doormats, have given too much of ourselves to a fault or we are undergoing some form of abuse. While some people learn self-love early on, the rest of us take years to learn that giving ourselves attention is part of it.

Giving yourself guilt-free attention

Think of all you do for those around you. Place them in categories, and you'll soon note you have done some extraordinary things for the people in your life. You'll notice the time you took time off to take a friend for the divorce mediation process. You'll remember when you went several miles out of your way to grab something for a family member. If you have always put everyone around you first before your needs, you will have an upsettingly long list of what you've done for others.

What will perhaps drive you to a painful truth is when you have to make a list of the things you have done for yourself. When was the last time you took time off to do something special for you? Have you bought yourself anything nice recently or does your income go to helping others? As you begin to make the connection, you ought to do more for yourself. Every time you feel guilty, look at the list of what you've done for others. With time, you'll be unapologetic about the attention you give yourself.

Plugging in

Giving yourself attention is not about putting everyone in the backseat. It is about creating a balance of what you give away and what you give to yourself. It also does not have to be grand acts such as taking a cruise or going on a shopping spree. There are small things that we neglect about ourselves that leaves us depleted when we try to give of ourselves.

Plugging in begins with being mindful and present. It is about paying attention to our bodies, emotions and what's in our mind. Take a moment to make an assessment. This kind of attention is something we are often quick to notice about others (body language, mood, tone, etc.) and we fail to see about us. As you progress, make sure that you are not sacrificing what is important to you. Getting enough rest or sleep or having a healthy meal is necessary. Don't give those up for others.

The truth about journeys to do with the self is that they are a lot to process at any given time. Here is where journaling comes in. As you do it, you notice patterns that you otherwise would not. You might see you often get a particular brand that you don't really like because someone else said they preferred it. Such aspects will pop up, and you will begin to notice where you neglect and overlook your needs for others.

Wrap up

If you are not self-aware, the journey to undoing years of sacrificing your needs and wants for others will take time. However, remember that every small win is a step in the right direction.