Conflict at work comes in many forms. Good conflict, the kind that is healthy, pushes us to be better as people and communities. Most organizations need more good conflict, not less. But sometimes, conflict can become malignant. It hijacks precious time, trust, and energy, turning allies against each other and distorting reality. This is what’s known as “high conflict,” the kind that takes on a life of its own, and eventually, leaves almost everyone worse off.
What causes high conflict? I spent four years investigating this question, following people who were stuck in all kinds of miserable feuds, personal and professional. One pattern, common to every instance I’ve seen, is the presence of conflict entrepreneurs. These are people who inflame conflict for their own ends. Sometimes they do this for profit, but more often for attention or power. They don’t exist in every organization, but, according to my research, they seem to be more common in certain workplaces, such as hospitals, universities, and political or advocacy organizations.
Think about someone you’ve worked with who sends defensive emails that may include ALL CAPS, copying multiple, uninvolved, often more senior colleagues in the cc line. Or maybe they spread rumors and suspicion about the company and its leaders via Slack or even social media. Typically they do this not just once or twice, but again and again.
One obvious response is to distance yourself from the conflict entrepreneurs in your office (or on your Facebook feed). Keep a safe distance from people who use all-or-nothing language or who delight in each new plot twist of a feud.
But what if you can’t distance yourself from a conflict entrepreneur? What if you must work with this person because you’re on a team with them, you manage them, or they’re your boss? In these cases, ignoring the person doesn’t work. They have a way of recruiting others to their cause. They often tell very persuasive, emotional stories about how they’ve been wronged by a co-worker, convincing well-meaning colleagues to start doubting, avoiding, and undermining one another. And soon, the problem metastasizes.
Calling a conflict entrepreneur out is equally unwise. “It will make things worse,” says Bill Eddy, a lawyer and mediator who specializes in dealing with high-conflict people. “It doesn’t motivate change; it escalates conflict.” Firing or otherwise parting ways with the employee could help — or make things even worse.
One seasoned manager at a small tech company encountered a conflict entrepreneur for the first time a few years ago. The problems started in a routine meeting, when the employee began demanding to know why others had been promoted. It was not an inquiry, which would have involved asking questions; it was a prosecution. The person “just came out swinging,” the manager said, “I was blindsided. There was no benefit of the doubt, a lot of black-and-white thinking.”
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