Satire: Karnataka, Mai Baap of entertainment and 100 crore MLA

Vishal
Vishal
5 min read

The perfect honeymoon just went kaput. After all, who offer 100 crores as dowry to the new brides in waiting? Trust Karnataka to steal the thunder away right under the nose of Prince Harry and Megan. After all, the Kohinoor wrecked vengeance in a truly grand style with B S Yeddyurappa turning into the good old horse trader. Baap re! One horse is worth 100 crores with politicians now getting into the business of buying and selling horses. Rajneet is passe.

Who would’ve thought that Karnataka would emerge as the Mai Baap of entertainment in true philmy style, beating the royal shaadi to shame and making us get over the biggest entertainment on the silver screen, Sholay! Gabbar Singh must be fuming in his tomb and would get even with Ramesh Sippy for failing to give him the line, Kitne MLA? First BJP stakes claim to form Satta, our dear old chum Yeddyurappa becoming a record Chief Minister for three days and making a quick exit faster than anyone would break their virginity. Now, no hero ever made the fastest move. Ever wondered of playing Faster Finger First on Kaun Banega Crorepati,  B S Yeddyurappa!  Our Vajubhai Vala played Samba to the two-faced Gabbar Singh, head toss Narendra Modi and tail toss Amit Shah. Can it get bigger than that?!

Image credit: Google.

What a chilled and nail-biting climax that would put to shame several B town potboilers with BJP emerging as the single largest party, then failing to make the cut with the magical figure and getting off the driving seat. The many faces of politics and the political shenanigans losing it exactly four years after Narendra Modi won a chest-thumping electoral victory! Now, who stole the coffee grains from the Pradhan Sewak?! Ek aur ek doesn’t make gyarah! Shut the fuck up, we all know this mathematical calculation in today’s times.

Karnataka is suddenly more famous on the global map than Virushka’s Tuscany with Band, Baajaa minus Baraat. Our netas have suddenly become the runaway brides or grooms for not being given dowry or Mere Nau Lakh ka Har by groom dearest. Now, who leaves a caboodle shaadi empty handed? Our Yeddyurappa must have practiced the speech watching Hrithik Roshan jigging to Khali haath aaya hai Khali haath jayenge. Would you believe the fellow Roshan ruining the party for poor Yeddu? Now, who stole the Kangan (a) and laddoo!

Ekta Kapoor thought Sasural Simar ka and Kyon Ki Saas Kabhi Bahu Thi made her cool on TV but she was yet to watch the Karnataka soap opera unfold in front of the eyes. There is hope for everyone, from Ekta to Yeddyurappa to redeem themselves, pretty much like the huge queue at ATM branches to watch the biggest 100 crore club playing, demonetization. Karnataka is the new Bahubali in town, our own superman who beats every angry young man or Dabbang to style and in deathly fashion, keeping us on the edge of the seat. The battle of sexes was never about men vs woman but BJP vs Congress vs JD (S) all in the name of 100 crores MP. Ram Ram ke Bhakt must be wondering so much rokra that once made the underworld’s fortune who ruled Mumbai irrelevant.

Modi and Amit Shah’s BJP must be the new don in town. Our Governor giving 15 days for chakki pissing pissing and pissing makes for money thicked roti in the assembly. After all, Rahul is no longer a Baba that BJP always wanted us to believe. Kabhi kabhie bacha bada bhi hota hai, bhai! Pappu Paas Ho Gaya kyon the numbers are here. BJP and Congress-JD (S) alliance are playing Pehle Aap in reverse, first one annoited CM for three days and the second claiming the crown…picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!

Three days can be a long time in politics. BJP must be feeling like the new Rakhi Sawant in town after being smacked by Mika Singh to finally find themselves beaten at their own game of poaching, stitching a hurried victory claim or a victim of their own oft-repeated phrase. From Congress Mukt Bharat to BJP Mukt Karnataka. Wondering on the vociferating bhakts on social media and perhaps burnol will do the trick!

Ek MLA ki keemat tum kya jano Modi Babu aur Amit Shah Babu! Remember those failed show on Indian TV, Sawaal Dus crores ka, Jeeta Chapphar ke and Dus ka Dum! This one beats all of them with 100 crores ka MLA!

Politically Incorrect and Controversially Yours with Love

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