Adolescents face real problems at this stage in their lives. They have to deal with hormonal changes, puberty, and social pressures, from parents, school and colleagues. For teenagers, the most important task is to find their own identity, a journey that often takes place throughout life, but which begins in adolescence. With the exploration of identity comes the struggle for independence. As teens become independent and establish new relationships with friends whose influence becomes very important, it is more difficult for parents to control their behaviour.
Equally, adolescents need to be guided in order to make informed decisions and cope with stress and peer pressure. Teenagers need to know that they are loved and that they can always rely on their parents when they have problems.
The most common problems that teenagers face
The problems that adolescents face are multiple and, in many cases, are correlated to some extent: self-esteem and body image, stress, depression, peer pressure and competition, bullying, internet dependence, and eating disorders.
What can parents do to build a healthy relationship with their teens?
At the best school in south Kolkata, we advise parents to be aware of the problems that teens may have and be prepared to deal with them. Adolescents can face a state of insecurity, confusion and choosing the wrong directions that involve their lives, even when they are part of stable families. The following steps recommended by teachers from the best English medium school in south Kolkata are important to build a healthy relationship with your child and to deal with problems effectively. These solutions do not work in isolation, their combination is much more efficient.
Early identification
Changing sleep or eating habits, decreased interest in normal and healthy activities, decreased grades in school and preference for isolation are early signs of depression. Also, the increased demand for performance and competition from colleagues can cause unwanted stress. When the parent is vigilant and identifies these signs early, he can guide his child to healthy ways to deal with anxiety, which will stop the evolution of these problems into more serious ones.
Understanding the transition period
Puberty is one of the most important experiences and is a real part of teenagers' lives. Puberty means not only physical and sexual changes but also cognitive and emotional changes. Being sensitive and understanding that the adolescent is experiencing a series of emotions is an important step in understanding this transition period. Most teenagers feel misunderstood. At the best CBSE school near Garia, we emphasise it is crucial that the adolescent feels that his feelings and thoughts are validated and that this validation comes from the parent. Parents should not judge or criticize what he feels and thinks, even if they do not always agree with his behaviour. Anger, confusion, jealousy, non-conforming attitudes, antipathy towards parents or the elderly, and the great need for intimacy are some examples of emotions or feelings that we at the best school in south Kolkata notice teenagers may experience.
Another important problem noticed by teachers from the best English medium school in south Kolkata is internet addiction, a problem that is growing very fast nowadays. And related to this, there is the risk of exposing adolescents to strangers, which is unmatched today. Parents should talk to their teenagers and help them understand what cybersecurity means and how they can protect themselves when surfing the internet. It is good for parents to establish an explicit set of rules with teenagers and especially to discuss "why" they are important. Such timely, fact-based, uninterpreted conversations could help teens make informed decisions.
Establishing a healthy connection
Establishing a healthy bond between the child and the parent is even more important in adolescence. Communication is the key to developing this connection and results in the teenager feeling comfortable talking to his parents. At the best CBSE school near Garia, we know that it is important to find that balance between being a parent and being your child's friend in order to build this connection between you. For example, teens who experience body image problems, such as being too fat or too thin, too tall, or too short, will benefit from a balanced approach from their parents, which has that good connection as a starting point.
Trust and acceptance
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Help your child build self-confidence by encouraging him to participate in the activities he chooses (not the ones you would like him to do). Make an effort and praise him every time. Often, parents believe that good things happen by themselves and often focus only on what the child is not doing well, but each of us needs to be appreciated. Encourage your teen to participate in family decision-making and get involved in solving family problems with you. Understand that it is normal for a teenager to question your opinions and the way you do things, as a normal part of the process of gaining independence from you, which is essential for his or her own adult identity.
Communication and safe space
Even when he doesn't seem to listen to you, you are the most influential person in your teenager's life. Give your child your full attention when he wants to talk to you. Do not read, do not watch TV or computer, and do not do other tasks. Listen to him calmly and focus on what he is telling you and on understanding his point of view. Only then give him your own opinion, as clearly and honestly as possible. The tone of your voice can set the tone of a conversation. Avoid humiliating your child and laughing at what seems to you to be naive or stupid questions and statements. Talk to them as politely and pleasantly as you would a stranger. Encourage him to "test" his new ideas in discussions, but without judging him. Understand your child's feelings, even if you don't always approve of his or her behaviour. Keep the door open for any subject, be that "open and approachable" parent.
Such an open, honest and safe communication channel will not only improve your parent-adolescent relationship, but will help him or her want to discuss with you those sensitive topics, such as aggression, pressure, and peer abuse.
Call for help
It is important for the teen to know that they can call on help even in the absence of the parent. Not only is it not a sign of weakness, but talking and asking for the help of another trusted adult means courage.
It is equally important for the parent to be aware of his or her own needs and limitations and to be open to seeking and accepting help.
What can teenagers do to have a good relationship with their parents?
Avoid seeing your parents as your enemies. There is a good chance that they will love you and take your interests into account, even if you do not agree with the way they show you.
Try to understand that your parents are also human beings, who have their own insecurities, needs and feelings.
Listen to your parents with an open mind and try to see the situation from their point of view.
Share your feelings with your parents so that they can understand you better.
Fulfil the responsibilities you have at home and at school so that you can convince your parents to give you the type of independence you need and want.
Support your criticism of your family, school or government with practical suggestions for improvement.
Be just as polite and caring to your own parents as you are to your parents' friends.
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