It was yet another day for Ravish when he has been blasted by his boss for apparently no strong reason. Looks like, his boss’s favourite pastime is to use Ravish as a punching bag. Ravish is not alone in this. Many of his team mates also face the same treatment from the boss. Sometime Ravish feels very unlucky to have been working in this team, under this boss. What Ravish is experiencing is called work place bullying and sadly it is a reality. Many people face bullying at workplace, sometimes they don’t even know if its bullying or something else.
A 2020 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 13% of HR professionals reported an increase in workplace bullying complaints since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. A 2018 survey by Randstad US found that 60% of US workers had witnessed or experienced workplace bullying. Workplace bullying is a real and on the rise.
Bullying has been there since eternity. However, now, both employees and employers have started to acknowledge the devalue those bullies can do to the organization’s culture and productivity. While some companies have anti-bullying policies but they largely remain ineffective because a large part of the process depends on the victim.
Before you can deal with the devil, you need to understand whether you have a devil in front of you or not and, if yes, what’s the nature of this devil. Following are some of the symptoms which can help you assess:
You fear going to the person (who is bullying you)You feel like taking time off or wish that you were sick so that you can take off without guiltYou do not feel part of the team and have low moraleYou talk to yourself imagining hypothetical question-answer interaction with the personAnd many more such symptoms - basically an uncomfortable feelingIt is not necessary that the bully has to be your boss. Even a co-worker can sometimes be very intimidating. You will observe several types of bullies at the workplace – some easily recognizable and others difficult to acknowledge. Hence, it becomes extremely critical to see and understand the nature of the bully you are dealing with.
The three most prominent types of workplace bullies are:
Screamers: The easiest to spot. They are aggressive, loud, and, most of the time, abusive. Typically, you will find such bullies in your bosses. These thrive and succeed by creating a culture of fear. Because of the fear, there will be no actual complaint from any team members to HR fearing a backlash. Despite knowing about this behaviour, the companies continue to ignore if he/she gets results, even if team struggles with low self-esteem and morale.
The Critic: This guy is always critical of you. He can be your boss or colleague but is someone who methodically criticizes your work and ultimately breaks your self-confidence. Shipra is a hardworking professional. Her colleague Smita had this habit of criticizing her work in review meetings. Smita would on her own step up to play the reviewer role to prove her superiority and in the process criticise others. Hence there was friction in the team. In one of the review meetings, Smita started asking questions about Shipra’s deliverables, whereas she wasn’t even connected to them distantly. While Shipra answered her insatiate hunger (pun intended), but really gave it back to him post the meeting. She confronted her and told her that deliverables are her responsibility and she is accountable to her line manager. Unsolicited reviews are not welcome in a very clear and crisp manner (read: Mind your own business). From that day onwards, she never interfered in Shipra’s work without being asked.
The Smooth Talker: These bullies are also known as ‘Sociopaths’. They are smart, intelligent, capable, well-spoken – in short, they are good at their craft. These are the most dangerous ones because they rise to higher positions due to their smooth nature and projections. Often, it’s “my way or highway” for them. If you are not in line with them, they ensure you leave by going to any lengths. They have no empathy; all they care about is themselves. The most common method they employ is the “set-up-to-fail” syndrome. While the ‘leadership’ chapter deals with the “set-up-to-fail” syndrome, just a quick note here will help understand the context. A set up to fail is a syndrome, where a boss and his team member start positively or neutrally. Then something happens, and the boss feels that the team is better off without the person. Then they set him up for failure through various means such as sideling in the team, not making them feel part of the team, influencing seniors and peers regarding the non-performance of the team member, and eventually leading them to move out of the project/company.
What should you do if you unfortunately become a victim of workplace bullying. Well, here are a few steps you can take to get yourself out of the situation
Acknowledge and Ascertain:Spend some time to understand if what you are experiencing is really bullying or not. If it makes you uncomfortable, breaks your self-confidence, you have a constant discomfort, most likely it is bullyingRecord and keep a log:try keeping a log of these instances.
Reach out and speak:Talk to someone you trust. Some very matured organizations have dedicated helplines for discussing such uncomfortable workplace themes
Stand up for yourself & please take care of yourself:It is very common for victims to lose confidence and start self-bashing. Avoid this at any cost.
Bullying is a sad reality at workplace. Employers should approach it with same rigour that they do for anti-sexual harassment initiatives. However, it is your responsibility too not to accept this harassment and intimidation for your own well-being.
Satyajit Senapati is a best-selling Author, Tedx & Public Speaker and Mentor. He has 2 decades of management consulting and corporate strategy experience in leading organizations. He holds an MBA from IIM Lucknow. For more information explore.
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