Every builder has a story they'll never forget. This is one of ours.
A few years ago, the Ascent Builders team was halfway through a loft conversion when something very strange began to happen.
Every morning, without fail, one tape measure would disappear. Not all of them. Just one.
"It'll turn up," said Dave. It didn't.
The next day, a pencil vanished. Then a packet of screws, followed by a screwdriver.
"Someone's winding us up," muttered one of the lads as they searched every toolbox on site. The homeowner looked just as puzzled.
"I'm sure it's not me," she laughed. "Unless I've started sleepwalking and collecting building supplies."
By the end of the week, the team had become convinced there was a mysterious loft goblin living somewhere behind the rafters. The goblin, it seemed, had excellent taste in quality tools.
One of the builders even left a chocolate biscuit in the loft as a peace offering. The biscuit disappeared.
"See!" someone shouted. "He's real!"
The mystery continued for another two days until a loud thud echoed from behind one of the new stud walls. Carefully removing a temporary board, the team discovered the culprit. Not a goblin. Not a ghost.
A very determined magpie.
It had found a tiny gap near the roofline and had been quietly building what could only be described as the most well-equipped nest in Surrey.
Inside were three tape measures, two pencils, two screwdrivers, a packet of screws, a teaspoon, and someone's car keys, which had been missing for weeks.
The bird had apparently decided that builders' tools were every bit as attractive as shiny jewellery. After much laughter—and a careful relocation of the nest by the appropriate wildlife professionals—the team sealed the access point, retrieved their equipment, and finally finished the loft conversion.
To this day, whenever a tool goes missing on-site, someone inevitably says:
“Better check for a magpie before blaming Dave.” No tools have vanished since.
Although Dave still swears one tape measure is unaccounted for.
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