Finding the perfect love is important not only for a happy life, but also for a healthy life, so it's worth spending time and energy doing it. Here are 10 tips for finding the perfect love:
1. Meet many available single people. Some people are lucky to find the right partner in high school or college, but if you haven't found the right partner by the time you graduate, what do you do? Meet as many potential partners as possible. When the pandemic ends, go to singles dances and sign up for activities you enjoy. In the meantime, sign up for online dating services. Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld and his colleagues point out that “online dating has become the most popular form of dating between couples, eclipsing dating through friends.”
Online dating can allow you to meet a variety of people, most of whom you would never have met otherwise, and the more people you meet, the better the chance of finding the right person for you. Unfortunately, people can misrepresent themselves when they meet online. To uncover a fake profile, ask to meet in person quickly, in a safe public place. If the person refuses or postpones the meeting several times, it is probably not what it claims to be. You may also be interested in Single Searching in Kenya
When you finally meet the person, pay attention to what your body is feeling: are you immediately comfortable and attracted to the person, or are you feeling uncomfortable? Learn to trust your body's reaction first.
2. Know who you are and what kind of partner you need. Everyone needs something different in a mate. Select the qualities you want and don't settle until you find someone with those qualities.
3. On your first date, ask questions. Be very honest with the person and ask, “Are you looking for marriage or just a casual date?” “Do you want kids?” “Where do you want to live?”
If you're looking for marriage and the other person is just looking for a chance meeting, don't try to change your mind; it's probably better to leave. If the two of you are looking for the same thing, you might be compatible. If your goal is to have five children and the other person is sure they don't want them, you are not compatible and need to leave. It's best to know the answer to these questions before you get emotionally attached.
4. Make sure you are spiritually compatible and, if not, that you can respect each other's beliefs. If one of you is a Catholic and the other is a Muslim, make sure you can respect and support the other's beliefs without trying to change them. The important question is: in what faith would you raise your children? You need to discuss this and find an answer that satisfies both of you before you get emotionally attached if you have any ideas about marrying the person.
5. Make sure you are sexually compatible. Here are some extremes: Some people don't care about sex and don't really need it. Others want sex every day. Still, others need sex only once a month. If a person who needs sex once a month marries someone who needs sex twice a day, the conflict will arise and the relationship will likely not last.
When I was single, I had a list of questions I asked on first dates. One was, “How often do you need to have sex?” Since sex was important to me, I wouldn't date anyone if they weren't sexually compatible with me.
6. Make sure you are financially compatible. If a mean person marries someone who likes to spend a lot of money, the marriage may not survive if he has a regular bank account.
On the other hand, if they both keep their finances separate, even when married, the mean one might like to receive a lot of gifts from the generous person, as long as the generous person doesn't go into further debt. If the generous goes into deep debt, incompatibility will arise.
7. Make sure you are emotionally compatible. Some people like to be in each other's arms, hold hands, and say and hear words of love. Other people don't like physical closeness (except during sex) and cannot say words of love. A marriage between a loving person and an unloving person can be a disaster. You need to let go of an incompatible relationship before you get emotionally attached.
8. Make sure you are intellectually compatible. Some people are interested in anything and everything, always want to discover and learn new things, and love to travel. Other people want to stay at home, do the same work routine every day, and are not interested in learning or discovering new things. A marriage between these two types would probably not last.
9. Make sure you can talk about the problems. Problems will arise, in the near or distant future. They always show up. Whether it's health problems, children's or parents' problems, work or money problems – problems will happen. Make sure you and your spouse can talk, listen to each other, and find solutions together.
10. Spend time and energy looking for perfect love. We spend time, money, and energy studying and looking for the perfect job. We need to do the same thing when looking for perfect love. We need to be proactive and actively seek out the right partner, which is just as important as looking for the right job. If we wait for the right person to magically appear at our door, we can wait a long time, but settling for the wrong spouse can destroy our life, health, and finances.
Seeking and finding the perfect love will make us happier, healthier and can make us live longer.
Keep hopeful and at the same time be patient and persistent. Know that the right partner exists for you; you just need to find them. Pay attention to your body's reaction when you meet people. Your body will let you know – feeling at ease and excited at the same time, heart racing, butterfly sensations – when the right person is in front of you.
Seven years ago, I was a widow and dated 120 men before I met the wonderful man who is now my husband. He was number 121. A few minutes after meeting him, my body was shaking with excitement. I was both very comfortable with him and very attracted to him at the same time. My body knew immediately. If I hadn't met him, I would have continued my search.
