Here is how my bus journey typically unfolds every day.
5.30 PM
· Waiting for the bus.
· The smell of the precipitation, unwashed socks fill the evening breeze.
6.00 PM
· Thanking the almighty for blessing me with the window seat, I took a deep breathe and occupy 60% of the seat before someone settles next to me.
· The bus kick started with a little jerk.
· I close my flimsy eyes indulging in the music.
6.20 PM
· My play list, loaded with few of my favourite songs took their turns to play songs from varied genres Telugu melody-Bollywood-Rock-Jazz-Sufi-Pop.
· I open my eyes and look around.
· My bus moved a little ahead and stood at the traffic signal 200 mts away from the starting point.
· Nothing has changed.
6.25 PM
· Restlessly, I look around and remove the ear phones and put my phone back in the lovely handbag.
· Some colleague desperately rings me to calls me back to office for an important work. I was about to utter F***. I kept repeating “hello” for 4 times and behaved like there is a serious signal issue.
· By now, mild headache triggers.
6.30 PM
· Bus moves a little ahead but signal is yet to be crossed.
· Hunger pranks kick in.
· The couple, perhaps a pair, gently opens the pack of samosas from the thin foil.
· The fragrance touches my nostrils. For a minute, my insane mind thought of stealing their samosas.
6.45 PM
· My bus moves and stops at another traffic signal. I can still see my office building.
· Darkness is slowly creeping in.
· I pull out a book to read but I immediately put it inside after reading a couple of lines.
· Nothing is going into my head except the honking and vroom sounds.
7.00 PM
· I try to overhear the conversations of my fellow travelers.
· The couple discuss on how to convince their families for their inter religion marriage.
· The guy in the back seat forgot that he is in a bus and has started singing a creepy number from Kollywood.
· The middle aged aunty in my front seat is taking a nap and is snoring annoyingly.
· The guy in the next seat is watching a ridiculous Telugu comedy show on YouTube.
· Driver is honking obnoxiously.
· The girl next to me is explaining her sister the great recipe of Kaju Upma.
7.30 PM
· We have thankfully covered half the distance of the travel.
· The air slowly transforms from grey smoke to awful garbage smell.
· It started raining. Driver took a short cut bumpy road and we are swinging.
7.45 PM
· I look at the traffic from the window.
· The guy on the bike is looking at me incessantly.
· “Does he knows me”? I wonder. I again look and wish he drove Benz. I would have at least smiled back and requested him give me a drop (Stop judging me !).
· Beggar stands besides the car and is trying his luck.
8.15 PM
· My urinary bladder started to trouble.
· It is extremely difficult to hold your pee for more than an hour.
· Glaring lights from the vehicles are hitting straight into my eyes and causing terrible pain.
· Hawkers sell all useless items like fidget spinner to face masks at the signals.
8.30 PM
· Intensity of the rain subsided
· Finally, bus reached the destination
· My co-travelers couldn't wait for the bus to park and got down from the moving bus
· Some run to catch the train. One of them stamped on the cow dung. Yak !
· I slowly get down. Smell of urination is too strong
· I walk briskly on the swampy mud to avoid smelling too much of urine
· Moon, I think, is looking at me and laughing
8.40 PM
· I hurriedly cross the railway track to move to the other side of the station.
8.45 PM
· No autos around
9.00 PM
· Autowala agreed. The last leg of the journey begins.
9.30 PM
· Reached home.
· Rushed to the bathroom to relive my urinary bladder
Total time taken: 4 hours
What anyone could have done in that time?
· Watch one Indian movie or two Hollywood movies.
· Cover 3-4 episodes of GOT.
· Read at least 100 pages book. Prepare for a competitive exam. Surely I would have cracked it.
· Do a painting.
· Cook a three course meal.
· Air travel to any place within India.
· Play a sport.
· A good deep sleep.
· Burn calories recommended for a week at the Gym.
· Watch back to back episodes of Tom and Jerry.
· Undergone liposuction surgery.
· Listen to a complete episode of Pravachan. God save me!!
What did I get?
· Headache.
· Strained eyes.
· Giddiness.
· Gossips.
· All kinds of smell – Popcorn-Samosa-Gas-Wet garbage-Urine-Poop-Coal.
What should government do?
· Build some pop up shops to sell snacks.
· All the restaurants should start delivering food at the traffic signals.
· Public toilets to be built at distance of 1 kilometer. Sanitary pads and diapers to be sold at the toilets.
· Special stalls to be set up in between to sell cigarettes, medicines (for diarrhoea,
indigestion, vomiting, cardiac arrest), Joints, shangrias, energy drinks.
· Private companies can cash on the opportunities and sell hot air balloons so that people can fly, just in case of emergencies.
· Initiate never ending projects and dig all the roads in one go.
· Block the way if a politician is traveling that way. People can wait. There is nothing important to do.
What government shouldn't do?
· Build infrastructure like flyovers, signals, clean roads.
· Appoint traffic police at the junctions.
· Clean garbage on regular basis.
· Explore other ways of public transport like local trains or metro – waste of money.
What Citizens should do?
· Throw wrappers on the road fearlessly.
· Spit recklessly Pan/Gutka on the roads and footpaths.
· Urinate where ever you want. Right to freedom.
· Show PDA. This is democracy.
· No need to disclose your name and other details. Use right to privacy.
· Abuse the carwalla/autowalla that bumped into your car. Freedom of speech.
· Bribe the traffic police who caught you for not wearing helmet or obtaining license. Cash can solve all the problems.
· Carry a snack, a meal, blanket, power bank, a torch and necessary items you would need in a disaster.
· Honk relentlessly. Don’t worry tax payer! You aren’t causing more noise pollution than Arnab Goswami.
